Doggy Bags

The ranges of products available in China are showcased at the Canton Fair and it is unbelievable. You have to see it for yourself to believe that they make EVERYTHING here. I have seen every item available for sale directly from the manufacturer from toothpicks to machines making diapers. There was one whole section dedicated to just pet products. This here is a small plastic carrying case for doggy doo-doo bags in the shape of a bone. It is a pretty innovative product for the Western markets. They even have dog walking leashes with a similar case mechanism in the handles. I had never seen anything like this before.

The refill bags come in small rolls that can be reloaded into the cases. While the Chinese are on the cutting edge of manufacturing their marketing skills seem to lack etiquette. There are numerous catchy names one could come up with for the doggy bags that kind of divert from the actual function of the product which is to basically pick up dog crap. Not here. The Chinese are a bit more ‘in your face’ about it.

When I saw this product I cracked up and immediately after that a pretty Chinese girl ran up to me saying that they were soon changing the name. I guess I am not the only one who found it a bit odd. The name of this product states clearly what its function is yet we all know it could probably not sell in the US or Europe. What is it about the word SHIT that gets peoples knickers in a twist?

Crash

My computer crashed 2 days ago. My HDD totally flat lined. I have lost all my work, all my writing (over 300 pages), and all my pictures. I did not back up anything. I am not as upset as I thought I would be. Life goes on and I guess I get to start off on a new page. I should get my computer back tonight with a new HDD and I picked up an external to keep my files backed up.

DAWA - Mombassa Medicine

Sorry for the irregularity of my posts. The week has been pretty hectic here. While in Mombassa the most common poison we consumed was ‘DAWA’. The word ‘DAWA’ in Hindi actually means medicine and it means the same in Swahili too. And this is my kind of medicine.

‘DAWA’ is sort of like a Brazilian Caipirinha which is prepared with cachaça, lime, and sugar. ‘DAWA’ is made by crushing chopped limes, adding a generous amount of vodka, and a dollop of traditional Kenyan honey. It is usually served in a short glass with a large piece of wood that can be used as a mortar to keep the honey from settling and squash more juice out of the limes at regular intervals.

On the last night of the safari everyone indulged in more than their fair share of ‘DAWA’. At the camp the locals would actually collect their own honey from bee hives and that gave the drink a whole new flavor from the ones we had in Mombassa. ‘DAWA’ packs quite a punch and if I had made it for the morning drive I would definitely have needed some medicine to keep me in check.

Johnny’s Bar Restaurant & Guest House – Lusaka

Lusaka is a relatively small city that is the capital of Zambia, a large country in Central Africa. Zambia is situated on a vein of copper that is its primary source of income. Next to Argentina, Zambia is one of the world’s largest copper exporters. Another source of revenue for the Zambian economy is tourism. There are quite a few lodges and game parks in the country but its most popular attraction has to be Livingston, where you can visit the renowned Victoria Falls. Zambia is a land logged country which makes trading there quite expensive. All products there have to be imported from overseas and then land resulting in inflated costs. However there are ample local industries manufacturing a wide variety of products for the local market.

Lusaka has a tight knit expatriate community compromising mainly of Indians, Lebanese, and quite a few Greeks. The entertainment scene there is growing fast and there are new restaurants and bars opening up in the city every now and then. But the market is small so it can not be compared to any big city. One of the more popular nocturnal Hangouts in Lusaka is Johnny’s Bar.

Although there are more refined spots in the city Johnny’s has a local charm and reputation that has kept it on the hit list for a few years now. In the outdoor area you can see that the walls are not painted. In fact some of the walls are not even coated in cement, they are still raw brick. The counters are made from unfinished wood and although some might see this as a conscious rustic design theme, it is more out of necessity. Whereas Johnny’s could have hired and developed a state of the art bar on his property, could he afford it, he has rather opted for slow growth and allowed the bar to facilitate its own evolution.

There are a couple of pool tables at Johnny’s that are quite popular with youngsters around the city. Most evenings you can find the ‘tweens’ kicking back here and having a few games with some drinks. But in all honesty, these tables were BAD. First off they were tiny. The balls were not even the size of any normal ball I have played with and let me not even start about the size of the table. The cues have seen more friction than a 50 year old hooker. My buddy Amit found the cue ball closer to the lip of the table than he liked so he calmly gave the lip a few good taps and nudged it over a full inch. I think a win on this table does not constitute as a win at all.

Apart from the open air pool area Johnny’s also has an indoor bar are that is the night club. The bar is owned by Johnny who is a Chinese guy living in Zambia for over 10 years now. When he bought the property there was a swimming pool on it that for many years functioned as a cesspool in the parking lot. About 2 years ago he constructed the disco around the pool and now it sits in the center of the room, directly under the dance floor. This does make for a pretty cool attraction.

Being from a small town myself I can understand how a place that seems so run down can actually attract a worthy crowd. What Johnny’s lacks in finesse, it makes up for in local flavor and a unique clubbing experience. This is truly a place where friends come together to enjoy each others company and where one can begin to comprehend that it is not necessarily where you are but who are with that permits you to have a good time.

Screw Machine

I have been pretty busy this last week attending the 100th Chinese Export Commodities Fair in Guangzhou. The first phase just drew to a close today. There will be a 5 day break before the 2nd phase commences. I saw the usual stuff at the fair but this one machine I saw today was definitely blogworthy. I am fascinated by machines and I enjoy visiting factories and seeing how various products that we take for granted are manufactured, like a common screw for example.


I was surprised to find this machine that cuts and punches a metal cable into the screw shape and another small machine twists it into a spiral. This is a video of the machine at work. It is only about 6 feet long and 5 five feet high. This shit just blows me away.

Tsavo East National Park – Kenya

Tsavo National Park is located in Kenya, about a 2 hour drive from the city of Mombassa. The reserve is approximately 20,000 square kilometers in size and is divided by a railroad track and road into Tsavo East and Tsavo West. After my cousins wedding, with a group of 50 people we visited Tsavo East.

Once we arrived at the gate in our enormous bus, we split into groups of 6-8 people and hopped into these open top Land Rover safari jeeps. They were not the most comfortable vehicles I have ridden in but they were built tough. Some of these Land Rovers must have been almost 15 years old but they cruised over the rough terrain with ease. And even though the ride was bumpy it did not matter because we were standing up most of the way.

Once again the misfits were ousted and Inny, Ro, and I were given a jeep all to ourselves whereas everyone else moved in larger groups.

But this did not matter as it gave us the freedom to indulge in more tomfoolery and entertain the animals. ‘Vere are the munkeeeeeezz?’

The park is MASSIVE. It took us an hour and a half of driving within the park just to reach our lodge. But that was through the safari park so we were already spotting animals. We entered the park at the Buchuma gate which is only one of 3 entrances I know of. Once you get past the gate there is not a fence in sight as far as the human eye can see.

We left most of the larger luggage in the big bus and took only what we needed for the one night at the lodge with us. I was hoping for a camp fire that night so I urged Fousto to bring along his guitar. I had my newly acquired drum in hand as well.

It was dry season on the savannah so most of the watering holes were dried up and the landscape was extremely arid. However the area on which the lodge was situated had some green grass because it was probably watered. For the life of me I can not remember the name of the lodge we stayed at but maybe Kubolo Bway can enlighten us if he reads this post. It was actually just a cluster of about 30 tents spread over an unenclosed area. That means apart from some thorn bushes surrounding the encampment and the tents there really was no barrier against the environment and its inhabitants.

Although we stayed in ‘tents’ they are actually quite comfortable. They are set up on a solid concrete foundation and they have thatched roofs over them. But essentially they are still plastic sheet tents with zips and all. Even the floor was plastic so once zipped up there is no way for any creepy crawlies to get in. The camp director advised us to keep the tent zipped up at all times because there are snakes and scorpions in the camp, not to mention mischievous monkeys. And because of the thatched roof it actually stays pretty cool in the tent even on a hot day.

The interior of the tent was totally phat. Ours had three beds in it. There are also a couple of electric lights and a standing fan in the room. The sheets were very clean and fresh smelling. The beds are actually more like cots and although they are not soft they are sill very cozy.

I think the most worrisome part about going on safari for most people would be the bathroom situation. And no matter comfortable you might be taking a shit in the bush there is still nothing like a decent bathroom. And the situation would be made even worse if nature calls upon you at some ungodly hour of the morning and you have to squat between thorn bushes at 3 am trying to push one out while worrying about some lion making breakfast of you. Fortunately this place had one hell of a bathroom. There is a zip door on the back of the tent that leads into this bathroom built on the concrete foundation. It is actually better that many of the hotels I have stayed at in the past. The complementary shower gel was off the hook. I walked around all night smelling like lavenders. The only problem with this bathroom is that the walls are quite thin and the back sits on the edge of the pathway. So if you are taking one of those emotional dumps you will definaintly draw attention from wandering lodge guests.

The shower has cold running water all day from the white handle on the left. On the roof you can see a shower head with a red handle attached to a large rubber bag. Every morning and evening the bag is filled with hot water enabling the early bird or first one home to have a hot shower. And dude, it fucking rocked. I loved having a shower under that thing.

There were also some larger suite tents with more extravagant facilities such as free standing bath tubs, sofas, and ceiling fans. They also had larger front porches with deck chairs and exclusive views of the lodges man made watering hole.

The bed in the suite tent was also much larger with animal print blankets and nifty bed lamps. Ade did not come with the room; you have to bring your own Ade.

As I mentioned before, there is man made watering hole under a tree about 200 meters from the front of the tents. All day and night there are herds of elephant moving through the area. It is amazing to just chill on the porch and watch them interact with one another. The tree also has a light attached to it aimed at the watering hole so you can see what is going on all night. At night you can even here the elephants.

The lodge keeps track of the animals sighted at the watering hole.

Apart from the drive to through the park to get to the lodge, you also take a sunset safari and a morning safari as well. After a quick lunch and putting our stuff in the tents we were herded back into the jeeps and taken on a sunset safari. It was breathtaking and inspiring. I can not justifiably describe the way I felt watching giraffes move across the landscape.

After the safari we all retreated to our tents for some R&R then reconvened back at the dining hut for drinks and dinner. After diner most of the crew chilled around a camp fire while Fousto played guitar and sang classic tunes. He is one talented individual. As the night progressed people went back to their tents one by one, escorted by a Massai guide. As I mentioned before, this is not a fenced resort so animals do freely wander through the lodge and late at night there have been cats sighted.

It was a cold night but we kept the fire burning till about 4 am. Most of the people had gone to sleep by then because there was a morning drive scheduled. I already made up my mind that I would stay in bed and catch up with some sleep. After the safari we all went back to Mombassa and the faction began to split. One by one we all slipped back into reality but the safari was the perfect cap to our vacation in Mombassa.

The Road to Tsavo - Kenya

After my cousins wedding in Mombassa around August 2006, 50 of his friends and relatives hopped on a bus to partake in a 2 day Safari at ‘Tsavo East National Park’ in Kenya. Some of you might recognize this as the place where the film ‘Ghost in the Darkness’ starring Michael Douglas and Val Kilmer was shot. I believe this is where the whole drama actually took place in real life as well.

The bus ride was entertaining. There was ample left over booze from the wedding so as far as I am concerned the party never stopped.

I did my best to keep the spirit alive and flowing but a lot of the crew were pretty worn out form all the events. None the less we inspired a few drinking games in the bus and the 2 hour drive to the game park just flew by. You snooze, you loose.

Every single seat on the bus was occupied. It was like being back in school again though. All the hip kids were in back talking story and the social misfits were stuck in the front. I was practically sitting next to the driver!

On the way over we conveniently made a piss stop that just happened to be at a large handicraft/souvenir shop.

We were all grateful to find that even out here in the savannah, American Express, Visa, and Master Card were welcome. You have got to love capitalism. I could not wait to see the cheetah sponsored by Nike sprint across the landscape.

But all sarcasm aside, the shop was pretty amazing, situated in the middle of nowhere. I even wandered around and saw some of the craftsmen making the carvings. There were loads of ethnic carvings and tapestries for sale. The prices were set for tourists but a bit of hard bargaining will get you everywhere. I was quoted $400 for one of these drums and eventually bought one for $40.

This handicraft shop may have been a tourist trap on the Road to Tsavo, but for the weary travelers sitting on an hot bus for 2 hours, with no cigarettes, and bunch of obnoxious twits in the front disturbing the peace playing idiotic drinking games, it appeared as an oasis in the desert. And quite a few of the people picked up last minute gifts for which I am sure the bus drivers got a cut as well. But that kind of shot never bothers me anyways.

The day and night we spent at Tsavo was epic. And now that I am back in China with great internet speeds I can post all the pictures I want. But I will write about it all when I am feeling less cynical.

Jack Daniels Monogram Tennessee Whiskey

A couple of weeks ago I invested in and reviewed a bottle of Jack Daniels Silver Select Single Barrel Tennessee Whiskey. I was not really blown away by the product. Last week I treated myself to a bottle of Jack Daniels Monogram Tennessee Whiskey. At $80 a bottle this was a much more pleasant experience. I found the box packaging to be a lot more attractive than the regular and silver select batches. The combination of textured black matt paper and silver glossy board paper gives the product an elite image.

JDMTW is marketed as a more intimate product from the Jack Daniels distillery. The literature on the back of the box explains that this batch was brewed by Jack ‘Jasper’ Daniels for his closest friends and therefore bears his monogram. This is of course a load of bullshit and I do not know why they even bother. I would be satisfied enough to know if this batch had been aged longer or distilled in a different manner. If I want fiction I will buy a John Grisham book.

This 94 proof batch of Jack Daniels whiskey is presented in an elegant bottle with a clean angular shape. The bottle is swathed in a leather sleeve that covers half the bottle and leaves a circular area exposed in the center of it to display the monogram signature. The JD monogram is printed on the front of the bottle in silver. I think it would have been a lot cooler if the monogram had been sandblasted or etched into the bottle. A cast metal emblem stuck on the bottle would have been even better.

I particularly like the way the outer box is black on the top half and silver on the bottom whereas the bottle contained within is wrapped in black leather only half way up leaving the glass of the top half exposed. I believe this is what is known as a reverse symmetrical design.

As for as taste, whereas I did not enjoy JDSSSTW, I thoroughly enjoyed JDMTW. The flavor was distinctly unique yet definitive of Jack Daniels. It did not go well with coca-cola or any other mixer at all but rolled perfectly well served on ice. It left no after burn after consumption as other bourbons do and after polishing half a bottle I got pretty tipsy with no hangover effects the next day. Cheap booze can leave one hell of a bad hangover.

F+R Wedding – Mombassa

It had rained heavily the day before and the morning of the wedding was pretty gloomy with a thick layer of grey clouds covering the sky. With a wedding ceremony planned on the beach all the people involved were pretty concerned that it might rain at any moment. While the guests were seated on the beach, the groom and his entourage sat around a table in the villa, sipping screwdrivers, contemplating the life cycle.

We got a call when the bride was ready and made our way down to the beach ‘Reservoir Dogs’ style, except we were dressed in linens and Indian ‘kurtas’ instead of the black suit and tie. The weather was still pretty crumby but I shit you not, as we walked down the slope, a ray of sunshine broke through the grey clouds and hit the stage that had been set up on the white powder sand with the ocean as a back drop.

The scene was breath taking. The color scheme was light blue which looked spectacular against the ocean back drop. The bride and groom both wore blue outfits and seeing them stand together on the stage was reminiscent of a painting. The ceremony was headed off by a local official who was actually quite entertaining. They repeated the vows read to them and placed rings on each others fingers. I saw numerous people in the crowd cry.

All the guests held pink helium balloons and when the couple was pronounced husband and wife we all released the balloons. It was out of this world watching this pink cluster of balloons take off into the blue sky.

10 minutes after the ceremony was over the crowd moved towards the buffet area and within another 5 minutes the sky opened up and pissed on the parade. I loved it. It was as if the rain had held back just for them and they 1 hour of sunshine was some sort of smile or blessing from nature. I am not a religious or spiritual man but when I think of that afternoon I still get goose bumps.

Congratulations Fufu and Risoto. Thanks for the awesome experience and I am looking forward to spending summers on your front porch sipping whiskey and bitching about new music, stupid kids, and corrupt politicians.

A Picture...

What is about girls kissing that just make men want to look? You got to admit that it is a major turn on. And because of the company I keep, I usually find myself in very favorable positions. And although I know I should not I just feel that I HAVE to share.

Olympus E-500 Digital Camera

My cousin recently invested in a new camera. As we are partners in crime this inexorably means that I have a new toy as well. He is not a learned photographer but has been eager for a while now to dabble in the art. He opted to buy the Olympus E-500 8.0 mega pixel digital camera. It possesses enough features for him to amuse himself with and the price tag on it did not break bank.

The Hyper Crystal LCD on the back of the unit is fairly large and the buttons are also big enough and spaced out far enough from each other that I did not have trouble getting to them. The buttons on some cameras are so small and clustered that I end up having to use the tips of my finger nails just to push them. The LCD monitor does not display the image that is visible through the lens. It only clearly displays the settings of the camera when you are shooting the picture. With a camera of this caliber it is essential for you to look directly through the lens to capture the image you want but the monitor makes it easier to adjust your settings from a comfortable distance.

The Olympus E-500 had loads of other features but I do not know nearly enough about photography to even start detailing them. I am going to invest in one of those ‘Photography for Dummies’ books and take it from there. My cousin however is picking it up pretty quickly and took some awesome pictures in Cambodia.

The camera was a great deal because it actually came with 3 lenses and a cylindrical plastic device to block out light in sunny locations. There package consisted of a close range lens, a medium range lens, and this 40-150 mm zoom lens. They also included a nifty black travel case, ample lens covers, and a battery charger of course.

The Olympus E-500 Digital Camera package is available at most Electronic City outlets for just under $800.

These are a few of the pictures Inny took on our most recent trip to Cambodia. Unfortunately the internet speeds here in JKT will not permit me to upload them in their 8.0 mega pixel glory, but I hope they retain some of their beauty. The clarity and field of depth on the originals is mind blowing. I did not realize before this how much of a difference a good camera could make.