When I first moved to Indo back in 1990 I vaguely remember there was a Burger King then it just disappeared. And once McDonalds stepped into the mix they totally gobbled up the majority of the burger franchise market share. That really sucked too because I don’t really care for their burgers. Back in college when I was short of cash I often had to choose between the 99 cent double cheese burger at Micky D’s or the 99 cent Whopper at Burger King. Both worked out to $1.03 with tax. I almost always went for the latter because it had a better flavor plus it was loaded with veggies so I was under the impression that I was eating healthy. Here in GZ they do not have a Burger King either so I have actually been missing the good old Whopper and their onion rings. I was pretty stoked to find that they have reopened Burger King in Jakarta.
The new Burger King is situated in Senayan City, the swanky new up market mall in Jakarta. They have a bunch of branded clothing stores in there and a cool art gallery but overall the mall is quite drab. They just opened up a GAP store in there too. I like the GAP. So the décor of the new BK Is all fresh and clean with their trade mark catch phrase plastered on the wall reading ‘HAVE IT YOUR WAY’. That is another thing I liked about BK, I could add and remove components from my burger as I wished. The area of the restaurant is not too big and I heard there were long lines of people waiting to try their wares. I went in at about 3pm on a weekday and there were not too many people in line.
The menu was very standard. I do not understand why we do not reap the benefit of specials in Indonesia. Every time I am in Hong Kong or Singapore I always see a variety of special burgers on offer at the usual franchises. In Indo we are always stuck with the standard shit. At Micky D we don’t even have apple pies or milk shakes. I was hoping to find that BK had come in with a barrage of specials; instead I found they were even sold out of some of their standard items. Out of the burgers in the picture below I believe 4 were not available.
I must admit that I prefer Chicken Tenders to McNuggets. But somehow the quality of these tenders was just substandard. They were a little soggy and not hot enough. Also they did not have any cool dipping sauces to choose from. You would think they would at least do that to set themselves apart. I also love the onion rings at BK. But again the ones I had that day were just not crunchy enough. They tasted micro waved. I wonder why other franchises do not offer onion rings. They are a magnificent supplement to any burger based meal. Could BK actually have a patent on the onion ring? The fries were alright but I have to give the better fry prize to Micky D. In all fairness they make a much better French fry, they always have. Or are they freedom fries?
I ordered a Black Pepper Burger. I think this photograph can speak for its self. It was very sloppy. Not what I was looking forward to but nonetheless better than the Big Mac for sure.
I think the food franchise wars are really fun to watch plus I hope that some healthy competition will force the bastards to come up with more interesting offers. The TV ads in the states were hilarious, Jack in the Box competing with Taco Bell, and Mc D with BK. There are some real creative cats behind those commercials. With only one outlet so far in JKT, BK has a lot of ground to cover if they want to stand up to McDonalds, plus they had better get some fried chicken and rice on their menu soon. My favorite brand in the US was Jack in the Box. It is really popular in Hawaii but I am not sure if they have too many outlets in the mainland. The variety of burgers they offer is awesome, I love the Sourdough Jack. They also had the most mouth watering Jalapeño Poppers stuffed with melted cheese. Very cheap and unhealthy but ideal for munchies. IN Indo I would have to say my favorite burger franchise would have to be Wendy’s. They buns are really fresh and not too soft, plus you can’t beet a square burger. What is your favorite burger franchise?
Home Sweet Home Baby! It is great to be back in Jakarta but the work load is pretty drastic. I should not even be blogging but fuck it; I have to keep my priorities straight. I stopped off in HK for a couple hours yesterday before flying into Indo. I had a meeting with an artist there, a consultation for my next tattoo. I will write about that later. It is going to be awesome. So after the consultation I headed down to Lang Kwai Fong and pulled in at Al’s Diner for a quick bite. There was a huge sign outside boasting that they served up the best burgers in town. I decided to give them a shot.
The place is set up like a classic 50’s diner, but like everything else in LKF, it is small. But you can’t really blame them because real-estate in that area costs an arm and a leg! Nonetheless they managed to fit in about 10 tables, seating on the counter 9classic diner style), and even a juke box. I was pretty focused on getting fed so I did not even notice if the juke box actually worked or was just for show.
First things first I ordered myself up a cold bottle of Sol Beer. Now Sol Beer is available in Guangzhou but it just tastes better in LKF. I just pulled a 3 month tour in GZ, which is the longest I have ever stayed there in one stretch. If you have read any of my previous posts about GZ you might recall me saying how far it has come and what a developed city it is. After taking a 2 hour train ride over into HK I have to admit that GZ felt like a village in comparison! It really hurts me to say it but they still have such a long way to go. Not to take anything away from how far they have come or what a wonderful city GZ is in its own way, but with HK only 2 hours away I felt like I was in a whole new world. I felt overwhelmed. And the beer tasted great.
The menu at A’s Diner is perfect. It is not loaded with a hundred and fifty items to choose from; it focused on what they do best, Hamburgers. ‘Al’s Gourmet Burgers are 100% US prime sirloin, minced, grilled, and topped with all your favorites. Shoe-string French fries, lettuce, coleslaw, dill pickle, red onions, and tomatoes.’ You can even substitute your shoe-string fries for ‘atomic’ fries, which I learned were the big fat ones with some seasoning on them. I don’t like fat fries.
There is a generous range of hamburgers on their menu to choose from. All the hamburgers have names associated with rock songs from the 50’s. Like ‘Let It Be’ is a plain burger on a bun and ‘It Takes Two’ is a double burger with a double cheese patty. I enjoy reading nifty creations like that, it reminds of the whole Hard Rock Café experience.
For those of you who enjoy swallowing long, tender, and juicy rolls of meat, they also have a small selection of hotdogs with a range of different toppings to choose from. I love hotdogs and I already planned that if I was still hungry after the burger I would have one.
To top of the whole classic 50’s diner theme, Al’s diner also offers a medley of ice creams, sundaes, milk shakes, and pies. I am not much of a desert person in the afternoon so I was not swayed by these offerings. But come sunset I would surly be down for some New York Cheesecake.
Oh yeah… Just suck up that image. I should add that I am using my Canon PowerShot again. The images from my other camera were totally stinking.
I finally ordered a custom burger with cheese, bacon, and grilled onions. I like to keep it simple so I could savor the meat, which ordered cooked medium well. The bread was awesome, warm and coated in sesame seeds. I had to eliminate some of the toppings to the burger would be easier to eat. There was a bit much going on with the pile up. I put on just a little bit of tomato sauce and sealed the deal. I chewed into a few fries before taking my first bite of the burger. They were nice and crispy on the outside with just a little bit of softness in the middle, but I did find a few a little too oily. The moment of truth… The texture of the burger was perfect; I managed to fit a nice big bite into my mouth. I got a little bit of cheese, a little bit of bacon, and just enough burger and bread. As I chewed the mixture I found the meat to be a bit on the dry side. And I maintained this opinion as I devoured the burger. It was a bit messy as most burgers are but still very enjoyable. With great grilled burgers I have indulged in the past there has always been grease dripping off the back end of the burger onto my plate or on occasion even onto my jeans. With this burger there was no spillage of that sort, only sauces or condiment placed on the burger, not any juices from within the burger. This might be the sign of a healthy burger but as you know, I aint interested in that shit. Al’s Diners burger was fantastic but I found the meat a bit dry. The service however at their establishment however was great and I would surly visit them again. Maybe for a hotdog next time.
It has been about 2 weekends since I have gone back to eat lunch with Madame Atta at the Ghanaian Restaurant here in Guangzhou. Since I found the place I went there practically every Saturday until my schedule went all haywire after the fair. As I have described in previous posts, my favorite Ghanaian food would have to be Fufu with Light soup. But having that every week got kind of monotonous so I had to throw something else into the mix. There is not that much to choose from on the menu so I ordered some Banku and Tilapia. Banku is another ball of starch, like fufu made of plantain I think with some corn. I am not really sure what it is made of too be honest but it is stickier and slightly more bitter than fufu. It is served in a bowl wrapped in a cellophane bag, or as some of us would call it, a ‘robba’. Come on KB, say it with me, ‘ROBBA’. Yests… Not to be confused with a ‘TEEF’. The banku is unbelievably hot and I have burned my fingers and the roof of my mouth numerous times because I was impatient. In fact it happened at this particular sitting too.
Banku is ideal with grilled tilapia fish although some people also eat it with stew or even beans. The cook at the Ghanaian Restaurant offered to fry me up some fresh tilapia but she warned me it would be a short wait. I did not mind at all because that would make it all the more fresh! I don’t know what a tilapia is called in English but it is a fantastic fish with bones, but not too many of the small irritating ones. When grilled or fried the flesh is always soft and fluffy and the skin is so thin, hard, and crispy.
So finally the Tilapia was served up with the fresh hot Banku after I had nursed down 2 cold beers and half a ball of fufu. Yes I had to eat some fufu too. The fried tilapia is presented on a plate garnished with fresh steamed onions, tomatoes, green bell peppers, and smothered in SHITTO and MOKO (an uncooked preparation of peppers and tomatoes with other stuff). Do you see the colors on this puppy? MY lord, my mouth is watering like the mighty river Nile as I write this. Each of those spices has their own very distinct and pungent tastes that compliment the fried tilapia in ways that defy explanation. Somehow they have captured the exact taste of Ghanaian PEPE! The Banku furthermore adds to the ensemble a flavor and texture that realizes a malevolent unity that could only have been forged in the depths of hell. I am telling you it is that fucking good! You will be sweating from the temperature of the chillis, every logical area of your brain begging you to stop, to put down the fire!!! But your instincts just keep driving you to eat and nourish that hunger, than desire that stems from deep in your soul to burn and be redeemed. BURN!!!
A couple of weekends ago we ended up in Pan Yu, a district about 30 minutes out of GZ. It was after we had spent the afternoon in Chime Long Paradise, so we had worked up quite an appetite. We could not decide what to dig in to so Tony came up with a plan, he called up a friend and got the address of a restaurant called COHIBA. We must have been on the outskirts of Pan Yu as well because we ended up on some pretty dark back toads with only mountains in the distance. It was actually quaite a beautiful setting. With the use of the GPS we found our way to the obscure restaurant. We had to walk up a dirt track from the large parking lot to a well lit structure positioned beside a small lake.
All along the way the track was littered with signs declaring that Cohiba has gone topless! My pulse already began to race. What fun it would be to actually find a topless nudey bar in Guangzhou. Who gives a shit if it is 30 minutes out of the city? I would try and come here as often as I could. Unfortunatly the management was just making use of a clever play on words; they had actually only just installed a retractable roof. Lah dee fuckin dah!
The restaurant was really dark so I could not take any quality pictures. At fist it seemed like any pub restaurant with a lively atmosphere, loud music, and wooden furniture laid out acroos a large room. There was also a large bar in the back which we got a seat pretty close to. The walls of the resataurant were also quite sturdy and loaded with pictures and other decoration. ON one side of the room there was also a small stage where there was a live band performing some top 20 tunes. One element that also stood out was the trees in the middle of the dining area. It gave the room a very lush vibe. As I was walking to the table something just felt weird but I could not tell what it was. Then I looked up and there was no roof! Now it sounds really strange but the feeling of standing in a complete room with no roof is kind of awkward at first. I mean it just does not feel right. But you get used to it pretty fast, and it was a cool night so the effect was actually quite awesome. You are able to enjoy the bar while looking up every once in a while to see the stars.
The menu at Cohiba is pretty extensive with an exceptionally wide variety of steaks. They also have a great set of cocktails and shooters up for grabs. On the menu there is a note next to the Char Grilled Rib Eye that says, ‘Strongly Recommended by the Chef’. How could you not take a comment like that seriously? 4 of us on the table took his recommendation quite seriously and ordered the Rib Eye. I had never had a Rib Eye cut before.
There was also a pretty decent selection of starters on the menu. I liked the rustic décor of the premises and the management seems to have played well into that theme by throwing up specials on chalk boards in various positions around the bar. I must say as hungry patron, they were extremely appetizing.
While waiting for our food we engaged in some tomfoolery. And drank a few buckets of chilled Corona beers. Tony happened to know the owner of the joint, a Chinese-American guy who was in very, very high spirits that evening. It is good thing in fact that the establishment had no roof because he was in such high spirits. I ventured outside and looked around the property. Out back they had a large yard with a beach volleyball court set up, with sand and everything. They also had some sort of military obstacle course that looked quite fun. This would actually be a great place to have a day time party. So Tony convinced the owner to close the roof and show us, it did not take much convincing actually because he was quite proud of the set up. And it was awesome how the whole place was covered in about 2 minutes, very cool. But then it got hot.
After about 20 minutes some loud music came on, I think it was the mission impossible theme. Smoke machines went to work filling the air with thick fog and green laser beams cut across the room. It was loud and very dramatic. Slowly the roof began to open again. It was fucking awesome! But this happened about 2 more time while were there that Sunday night. It could have gotten old, but NO! It was awesome every fucking time. Finally we got our food which took a little bit of time and the steak was great. I ordered medium well and it was a little closer to medium rare but it was delicious. Not the best cut I have had in my life but the serving was huge and the meat very tender. All the dishes looked great really and we were all starving.
The COHIBA Bar and Restaurant is located on Jinshan Road in Panyu, Guangzhou. I write about a lot of places but I rarely ever say that one must visit there, but in the case of Cohiba, you MUST check it out. The atmosphere there is great and the drive out there is worth it. I am not sure how easy it is to catch a cab out there to come back but if you can afford it even renting a car for the night would be worth your while. The Filipino band is off the chain and they play some great classics. The crowd all love to dance and just let loose. You can call COHIBA BAR at 020-34713733. And I forgot to mention that they are having some big anniversary this weekend with a Brazilian Salsa night and an outdoor BBQ. If you are in the area you might want to check it out.
I am heading back to JKT in a few days and I can’t wait. It has been 3 months since I was home and I saw my nephews. I mentioned before that I am heading back to spend their 5th birthday with them so I will only be there for the weekend. But that’s good enough, better then nothing. We are having a superheroes party for them, I am gonna dress up as the bad guy. So I went to one of the numerous markets here in Guangzhou this weekend looking for toys to take back for the boys. It was Saturday morning and I was way too hung-over from the night before, but at least toys are fun and I was out of the office. A lot of the toys here are pretty cool because they are over stock of production for the US market so the quality is pretty good too. But there are some items you come across here that are just too American. Like waaaaay too American. Take for example the TELAVENGER.
This here is a product that MUST have been conceived through the mind of some tripped out American teenager. How could anyone realistically design and mass produce a stuffed doll whose sole function it is to seek revenge upon telemarketers? They had to have made a shit load of these to make them cost effective so who is supposed to go out and spend good money on a product like this? The Telavenger is designed to be positioned by your phone so that when a telemarketer calls your house you can press The Telavenger’s belly and he will play one of a variety of recordings he has been programmed with to waster the time of and irritate the telemarketer who called you. Like I said I was a bit hungover that morning so I filmed the bastard sideways. Apparently he has 4 different recordings, but I only got one before the shop owner told me to bugger off.
I can just picture some stoners sitting around who just received a call from a telemarketer, the fifth one of the day, and he turns to his buddy passing over the joint and says, ‘Dude, we should like make a machine that would like answer the phone when these telemarketers call. And then like when they start selling shit, the machine would like talk shit back to them and like waste their time dude.’ And the other guy would say, ‘yeah bro, fuck those telemarketers man. They’re a buzz kill dawg. This machine should like kick their ass bro!’ And then the third says, ‘Fuck yeah man! Those fuckers have been messin with our shit way to long dawg. We gotta avenge ourselves bra!’ Then the first one says, ‘Hell yeah bro! We can make a robot like Optimus Prime, except he would only kill telemarketers. We could call him The Telavenger dude!!!’ So somehow these champions sell their idea, make shit loads of money, and move to Jamaica. I am still here in China.
I am not making this up. There really is a Nanometer-silver Cryptomorphic Condom on the shelves of the C-Store here in Guangzhou. I have seen this package on the counter numerous times and wondered what the hell this is, wishing I had an enthusiastic partner to try this weird and wonderful invention out with. It sounds like some device I could attach to my dick that would make me shoot golden copulations, wads of sparkling semen speckled with neon green kryptonite dust that would bring Superwoman to her knees! I imagine the box containing meters and gauges that will make me a better love machine, while insuring I do not leave a bun in the oven. The Nanometer-silver Cryptomorphic Condom is even made by the ‘Omm’ company which is redolent of my mystical Indian roots drawing me ever closer into its seductive web. What tantric paraphernalia could this box hold in store for me?
Once again my exceedingly high expectations had let me down, HARD! The box had some good weight in it and based on the name of the product I was expecting to see some innovative birth control. All the entire box had in it was a canister of foam and a little plastic box containing 2 nozzles. What a fucking rip off. There was not ‘meter’ and there was nothing ‘nano’ about the product. And where was my ‘cryptomorphic condom’? The only thing ‘silver’ about the whole deal was the base of the canister. Why would they come up with such a whacky name for some foam lubrication with spermicidal agents in it? I felt this way once before when I bought one of those magic sets. I saw the guy at the shop demonstrating all the tricks with such ease and he left all the kids in awe. I saved up my money, bought the magic kit, and took it home to entertain my folks. I came off looking like a total dumbass because it was impossible to pull off any of those tricks smoothly without having 1 year of practice. It is a good thing I was opening the Nanometer-silver Cryptomorphic Condom on my own and did not have an eager woman by my side. She would have been expecting intergalactic sexual experiences with golden copulations and all I would have had to offer would be me and some spermicidal lubricant.
So blah blah blah, you have to fit the 9cm nozzle on to the tip of the spray can, turn it upside down, slip about 6cm of the nozzle into the vagina, and spray (filling the vaginal cavity). I can’t image that would feel very good. I mean what happens when he sticks his penis in? Where does the foam go then, does it just come out the sides or dissolve away? That would be pretty messy, plus when I rubbed the foam between my fingers it was not very slippery. So as a lubricant I would say it is useless. The instructions implore that you turn the canister upside down before inserting the nozzle into the vagina and spraying. There is a warning about sticking it in right side up and I wonder why. Maybe in the tests some lady filled her vagina up with all the excess gas from the canister and made a big pussy fart. Hey, it happens! So check out the video of the Nanometer-silver Cryptomorphic Condom analysis.
Yesterday evening on my way home from work I stopped in at the 7-11 to pick up some mixers. It was Wednesday and I had not touched the bottle all week so I figured I deserved to kickback with a glass of JD coke and watch the Idols. Which I should add has become extremely idiotic. At the beginning of this season I was telling Shan about how much integrity the show actually had and how it is all about music. This season just turned around and punched me in the jaw. It’s become a fucking joke I tell you. Anyways, I have vowed never to write about that shit. So while hooking up my mixers I saw this bag of ‘Paying Plum Candies’ on special offer right by the cash register. In the corner shops here in GZ they rotate the special offer products quite regularly and they always have merchandise for impulse purchases right beside the register, be it toys, candies, or magazines. I am a totally sucker for these things. I can never just walk into ma shop, get what I need, and walk out. If there is something lingering by the register I just have to start fiddling with it and eventually buy it. I even bought a Chinese tabloid once which prompted some suspicion amongst my fellow shoppers. So this time I noticed the candy. The catch phrase on the packaging of the ‘Paying Plum Candies’ reads, ‘Hey, So delicious, Let us try it fast’. How could I resist this genius marketing? I had to have them, and try them fast! I must add though that the packaging is quite eye catching. It is not bright colored or glossy, in fact to the contrary it is quite dull with a matt finish and dark coloring, but somehow it is still attractive and appealing to me, in some morbid way I suppose. I am not even particularly fond of plums but I found the probability of consuming a ‘Paying Plum Candy’ to be quite mouth watering. And I was pleasantly surprised to find that it was happy hour and I was allowed to purchase my second package for only 2 RMB! I waited until after dinner to indulge in my latest investment. It has been quite a while since I have treated myself to anything so I was actually quite excited. I broke open the master package allowing numerous little sachets of candy to spill over my table. As I pealed one open I was quite disappointed with the size. These suckers are tiny. But as my ex-girlfriend used to say, it is not the size of the bout but the motion of the ocean that counts. Keeping that in mind I popped the little bastard into my mouth and began to suck… The first thing I noticed is that this candy tastes nothing like a plum. Or maybe I do not remember what a plum tastes like. But I do not remember it tasting anything like this. The initial flavor is sweet followed by a slightly tangy taste on the back of the tongue, which was slightly pleasurable. However the flavor of the candy stays the same throughout its short lifetime. These days candies have coatings with different flavors so they can continuously arouse the pallet but the ‘Paying Plum Candy’ was surprisingly flat and monotonous. I was hoping for at least a burst of some juice in my mouth after sucking through the outer shell. I little treat to satisfy my efforts but there was nothing. All I was left with was a bitter taste in my mouth. It is 2007 for god’s sakes. Our senses have been overwhelmed by a barrage of information that is flying at us everyday from various media sources across the board. You can not launch a single flavored candy and expect to blow people away! The same way that you could not make a splash with a plain milk chocolate bar. So although the ‘Paying Plum Candy’ is appetizing, its falls far short of leaving any lasting impression with this consumer.
Although the Whiskey/Green Tea combination has become quite a common drink in the Far East Asian clubbing scene, visitors from abroad still find it to be quite a novelty. It must have been almost 3 years ago that I was introduced to this mix while clubbing with friends in Indo. As opposed to buying drinks from the bar one at a time, we would all pitch in and invest in bottles. By the end of the night we would actually end up saving quite a bit on the booze and the mixers, not to mention preferential treatment we received from the clubs. Also when you invest in 3 bottles you are pretty much committed to getting pissed and in turn having a blast. I like that. The bottles are served up sealed and the mixers in large jugs, you then have the freedom to mix your own drinks. It works a bit differently here in China. They give you the booze in a sealed bottle, mixers in separate cans or bottles, and an empty jug. You then mix a large quantity of the chosen drink in the jug which can then be dispersed amongst friends. So firstly you put ice in your jug and top it off with your whiskey of choice.
You must carefully regulate the amount of booze you pour into the jug keeping in mind that this is a communal drink and your mates might not like their poison as potent as you do. Be a considerate friend! You can use whatever booze you want and whichever mixer you prefer, and on this particular occasion, as the title of this post suggests, we went with the Chivas and Green Tea. I can understand how fascinating this combination may seem to some people but I assure it is an extremely smooth mix. Firstly it is not as sweet as your run of the mill carbonated mixers and secondly it is not carbonated so you end up feeling a lot lighter.
Once you have found the perfect Zen balance in your pitcher you can go ahead and share the concoction. Dispense generously amongst your friends. As you can see the drinking glasses provided in most clubs, bars, and restaurants here in China are quite small. Each one can hold only about 3 or 4 large sips. This actually makes the use of mixed drinks in a communal pitcher even more beneficial. We also tend to GAMBAI (bottoms up) more often and get drunk even more quickly.
Once all the mates have been watered you can take a good fill of the swill yourself. I like the combination of Chivas and Green Tea. On occasion I will even mix Green Tea with my Jack Daniels rather than coke. It is nice to get a break from the carbonated drinks for a while. Keep in mind that the Green Tea is slightly sweetened. Cheers!
While trawling through the back streets of Tian He I came across another gem of a restaurant, Les Trois Gros Bistro. In all honestly its existence was brought to my attention by Brother Ro, otherwise this place is really obscure and impossible to just run in to.
I am not really fond of French food so to speak but I do like to get from Asian food once in a while. Personally I could live on pizza but it is healthy to get a bit of variety in my diet and that is what this place seemed to offer. They have a bunch of specials posted out front. I was assuming Ken is the owner of Les Trois Gros.
The menu did look a bit weathered but the building was nice and clean. On the other side of the building they actually had a seemingly new sign advertising their weekend breakfast specials. I did not notice this till after my meal. I might give this a shot as an alternative to the Senses Breakfast.
The interior of Les Trois Gros Bistro is pretty standard. It feels a bit old to me and quite cluttered. I think the place could do with a total revamp. It is obvious from the set up that they have been open for a few years now at least and their walls are adorned with various plaques they have been awarded for serving great food and pictures of the proprietor with various local personalities. There are also some degree’s that Ken, the owner, has earned from institutions in France and the US.
I love eating in restaurants where the owners are doing the cooking themselves or directly involved in running their establishments. The menu is a clear indication that Ken is behind the wheel at Les Trois Gros. I found it quite intimidating at first; I mean there are just so many items on the menu. His selection ranges though a variety of typically French dishes to a cool fusion section where he has experimented with some Vietnamese favorites. The variety is also very evenly spread out with a little bit of all meats and vegetables. So even though he has a huge menu, his contributions are well thought out and premeditated.
I ordered a starter, shrimps on toast with 4 cheeses and decided to think about my main course for a while. While we were waiting Ken came out of the kitchen in his chef uniform and greeted us and a few other patrons. He also served us all up a batch of light tomato soup on the house! These are the small touches that make a difference when an owner is running his own kitchen. He had a great personality and even told me more about the starter I had ordered. From his style of speaking I got the impression that he really loved his job and was very passionate about cooking.
The shrimps on toast were off the hizzle! It was such a refreshing feeling to actually have something that was not doused in chilli cause and garlic paste. Asian food really tends to overdo the flavor at times. Don’t get me wrong, I love Indian, Thai, and Indonesian food, but I had just had enough. I took the opportunity while Ken was explaining my starter to me to allow him to select my main course. All I suggested was that he choose a good compliment and make it fresh.
For his main course Brother Ro went for the lamb chops, and man did they look good. I took all these pictures with my trusty Nokia N95 and the lighting in the Bistro was not optimal so the pictures are not fantastic. The chops were not the best quality I have ever seen, there was quite a bit of fat on the, but they were seared to perfection. The outside of the meat was dark and crisp while the inside was soft, moist, and pink. Unlike most other French places I have visited, Ken did not plate the chops in the center of the platter with just light garnishing but rather served them up on a loaded plate with lots of sauces and trimmings. This was a welcome surprise as we were quite famished.
I was pleased when I saw my dish was a grilled sea bass. It had been ages since I enjoyed some simple fillet of fish. Most of the fish I have sampled since I have been in China has been with loads of bones and again, doused in spices. I do not usually order fish on western menu’s because I am not familiar with what is good, so I am glad Ken went with the sea bass. It was also slightly seared on the skin side and laid on a bed of minced aborigine with some creamy sauce. It was great.
For desert we were given a complementary bowl of yoghurt with a large serving of sugar. I did not know this was a French thing, as we usually have that with Indian food. It was another welcomed treat, on the house.
Right next to Les Trois Gros, Ken has strategically placed his bakery Café Patisseries Cuisine. Here he bakes and sells fresh breads, cakes, and other goodies. He also has a pizza delivery service which I have yet to sample.
I have only been there once till now and I am really looking forward to my next visit. As I keep saying, life has gotten way to hectic recently but when I have more time I really want to sample more dishes on Ken’s menu. Unfortunately it is not exactly cheap enough to warrant daily visits but given the time I could hit them up at least once a week. Les Trois Gros is quite popular with locals and expatriates who have been living in Guangzhou for a while now. Ken is known for using extremely fresh ingredients and he represents the US cheese board here. He also offers up a magnificent selection of wine. His food is quite rich and for a wholesome experience it might not be the best place to have a light lunch but it would be a very romantic place to stop in for dinner.
I have been living in Guangzhou for almost a year now (on and off) and I had never even heard of Chime Long Paradise till last weekend. I latched on with a group of friends last Sunday as we drove up to Panyu, which is about a 45 minute drive away, to check out Chime Long Paradise. We heard there was an amusement park and safari zoo there. The drive there was really pleasant and there was no traffic even though it was a Sunday. Even when we reached the area there was ample parking available, though it was a bit of a walk to the front gate. I have not been around the city in a private car much as I usually rely on taxi’s here. I must say it was a lot more pleasant than driving out of the city in Jakarta on a weekend where you would most certainly face off with brutal traffic.
Chime Long Paradise is made of an International Circus, an Amusement Park, an Animal Safari (I think its called Xiangjiang Safari), and soon to come a Water Park. They have a night Safari there as well. With so many options available we chose the one that was smack in front of us, the Amusement Park and Circus package. I think we paid about RBM 220 ($25) for an all day pass to all the rides, events, and 1 show of the circus.
The lines at the front of the park were not too long and we were within the boundaries of the park within minutes. At this point I had only consumed 2 beers over brunch and was hoping to spend the rest of the day putting a few more back as we cruised through the park. I was almost disappointed to find out they sell no alcoholic beverages in the park (unlike Dunia Fantasi in Jakarta where Bintang Beer is abundant) but it is hard to be sour when you are hanging out with a bunch of over 25 year olds who are as joyful as school children in a candy factory.
A large map of the amusement park is posted at various locations around the park and there are also flyers available at the entrance. And the text is printed in both English and Chinese which is very convenient. The maps show the rides are located within park, restaurants, restrooms, taxi stop, bus stop, and the metro station, amongst other facilities. There are numerous ways to find your way to the complex from the city if you do not have a private car and they drop you off right at the doorstep. I could tell you all what busses to take and where to get off on the metro but… I can’t be fucked to look that stuff up.
We did not go on every ride in the park but they sure did have ample variety. The first ride we went for was the 10 Inversion Rollercoaster. That’s right, TEN! Now I do not know how true this is but many websites and people state that this is, according to the Guinness Book of World Records, the rollercoaster with the most inversions in the world!!! And it is right here in Guangzhou! The Chinese love stuff like that. There are so many signs that say ‘the first’ or ‘the largest’. The line was relatively long but the area was very clean and the line moved fast.
People were pleasant, it was not too hot, and no one was pushing or cutting. There are some pretty cool angles you can photograph the rollercoaster from and it was in very good condition. Part of the line you have to go through passes directly under the tracks. If you are one of those people frightened of rollercoaster’s, I can imagine this line would really get your adrenaline pumping. The best angle for pictures however was from a spot I found on the outside. It looks straight through the 4 loop spiral. I was being rushed along but given time I think this would be a great place to shoot pictures of people’s expressions as they pass through the tunnel. I would not mind heading back to the park just to spend more time on that spot. I think rollercoaster’s can bring out a unique combination of emotions for riders. It could be an interesting series to capture.
The is not the most ideal video of the ride in action but you can catch quite a few loops and see what good condition the machine is in. I was very impressed. More than the thrills of loops and twists in a ride I am amazed by how a structure of this form holds together. And when I feel fear riding these beasts it is not from the aerodynamics, I love the thrills, but I am freaked out by the integrity of the structures. And I would go as far as to say that this is the best roller coaster I have personally seen or ridden on in Asia.
The next ride we went on was the Motorbike Launch Coaster. This is allegedly another record wielding fixture in Chime Long Park. There is a row of bikes lined up on the track. Passengers are strapped on to the bike in straddle position as it is launched at super speed over twisting and turning tracks. At first glance the ride did not seem that interesting to me. The line was really long and my balls were aching from the last ride. The rollercoaster seats were really snug and if you have ever met me you would know that I am a pretty big guy, larger than your everyday Chinese bloke. I was strapped in tight to the fiberglass seats that had a separator between the leg holes. I did not adjust my package before getting into the seat so I spent the whole ride having my left nut crushed every time the rollercoaster hit a turn. It was even more uncomfortable than it sounds. In any case we went for it.
I have a video of this ride in action that is actually quite fun to watch but for some reason it is not holding up on You Tube. I was worried I would be too large for this ride but I fit in nicely. After mounting the bike, a fixture came over my thighs holding my legs in place then I leaned over a cushion where my stomach was and grasped the handles. The awkward moment was when the attendant pressed down the second security feature, a cushion behind me that pushed me down securely into the cushion in front of me. This was a proper doggy style position I was left in showing ass cleavage to the people behind me!!! Not cool. The bikes then roll up slowly to a starting line and stop there for a few seconds. They are then hurtled forward at an astonishing speed! The mechanism looked something like the ones I have seen on aircraft carriers. It was pretty cool shooting over a hill around a few turns and back into the docking station. Yes, the ride lasted as long as it took you to read this paragraph.
There were more rides, and a whole lot more fun. We hit the Flying Frisbee which was freaky as hell. We went on the water raft where we had to buy raincoats for 5 RMB each, that was great fun and if you ever do try that ride, buy the raincoat. You are guaranteed to get drenched if you don’t. There are other rides we did not try that looked like great fun as well but I think we all had enough of being tossed around like rag dolls.
There are some restaurants within the park but I can not testify to how good or bad the food is. But there is the Chime Long Hotel right next door which has a bar and a few restaurants if you really want to sit down and have a full on meal. They have a couple of cages with flamingos and white tigers too. I guess it would be an ideal place to stay if you wanted to spend the weekend touring the parks. The prices in the hotel were pretty steep though for food, but I do not know about the room rates. There are snack vendors around the park that serve up drinks, icecream, and snacks at much more reasonable prices. Still no beer.
The mutton kebabs were not too bad. The sausages looked great too but they never serve them up with bread here, it is always on a stick. Why can’t they start serving up sausages on buns with tomato sauce and mustard? I pass a vendor on the way home from work everyday and his hotdogs look so good but I don’t like them without bread. I am gonna start carrying my own buns around. I mean, bread makes it a meal I think. Damn, I could do with one right about now.
Apart from the rides Chime Long also offers Universal Studio type thrills all inclusive on the all day pass. In Dunia Fantasi in Jakarta you can buy an all day pass but certain ‘fancy rides’ still require an extra charge. I was really impressed with the show Chime Long had set up. I believe it is operated and performed by stunt professionals from Easter Europe. They have built an arena similar to the set of ‘Water World’ (the Kevin Costner film) and professionals act out a whole show with explosions, jet skis, flying foxes, and even people catching fire. I did not catch the actual show but the excerpts looked spectacular. I did catch the less exiting show where a bunch of white people were dressed as Canadian loggers and they cut some pieces of wood with chainsaws and hack saws, and threw some axes . They really interacted well with the audiences though and the kids loved it.
Of the theatrical features included in our all day pass we managed to catch only the International Circus in its entirety. I have not been to a circus since I was a kid and this was AWESOME! Once again the show appeared to be dominated and organized by Easter Europeans but it did feature people of diverse origins, from Africa, China, and even South America. There were clowns, acrobats, and animals. People seem to love watching animals act like people but I do not really feel that. I feel kind of sorry when I see a bear in people’s clothes riding a bicycle or monkeys being the man. The clowns were fantastic, they interacted will with the kids in audience, throwing out gifts and such. The hall was huge and the lighting spectacular. At certain points I felt like I was at a rave with the thumping techno music playing at full blast and neon glow sticks being waved around. The transitions between the segments went off as smooth as butter and the shows were of the hook. We watched trapeze artists, animal trainers, jesters, daredevils, gymnasts and even high divers that plunged into a moat surrounding the stage from high above the audience’s heads.
Like I said, it has probably been at least 15 years since I went to a full fledged circus and it was amazing. My favorite part was watching the gymnast and the hot Russian girls riding the horses. That was RAW talent on display right there. I am committed to finding out where these girls hang out on the weekends.
I took loads of pictures at the park and had a blast myself. Just days before I went there I was commenting to a friend how living in the city was getting on my nerves. It had been a while since I experienced anything new in GZ and life was getting monotonous. Between going to work, cooking dinner, and going to sleep, I had nothing to look forward to. I got to thank Mr. Tony for hitting me up on Sunday morning and marking a plan to hit Panyu. It was an amazing day spent out in the sun and once again I can proudly say that I am blown away by Guangzhou once again. Now I am looking forward to the opening of the Water Park and visiting the night safari. Uncle Bush gotta come through for us again! Oh, and we missed you Wong and Lu. Hope you can make it with us next time.
