This is my first post. I have been reading other people's blog’s for a while now and have been considering doing one myself but honestly, I haven’t found the balls to do it till now. I think it takes a lot of guts to write in public. To really put your thoughts and feeling "out there" for people to read, think about, and finally judge. That's human nature though and I guess I am gonna find out how much of it I can handle. I hope this can be a place for me to blow of some steam, share some thoughts and ideas, and maybe even meet some other equally confused individuals out there.
Last night I have had about 2 hours of sleep. This has been going on for about a week now. I can’t seem to get any fucking sleep. I get to bed early but I spend the whole night twisting and turning thinking, and thinking, and thinking... I watched a documentary recently called "What the Bleep Do We Know”. At least I think that’s what it was called. It was all about Quantum Physics and all the different aspects of reality. I will not claim to understand half the shit these prats were going on about but I do understand what the stem of these concepts are. In my opinion it is just about the simple questions, "Who are we?" and "What are we doing here?".
I must have asked my self that question every night as I got into bed and said my prayers as I was conditioned to do. I wanted to know!? Then somewhere along I stopped giving a fuck and was more worried about getting laid. Then in college on some wild LSD trip it all came back, those same questions with a whole new spectrum of possible answers and theories. I felt then, at my peak, that I controlled everything. That the universe that was around me was mirrored with me and that I could control all events before me if I just learned to master my inner being, to control my thoughts and feelings.
Now I think it is pretty obvious that..... I am getting pretty carried away here for my first post. I am just gonna cut this short by saying that, a lot of what I heard these experts saying on the documentary made sense to me and took me back a few years to what I used to believe and what I have lost sight of while getting caught up in this whole reality (living, working, paying bills) and not paying attention to the other realities. Maybe it is time for some change.
Here’s to a good nights sleep.