Monday, June 06, 2005

Gonzo is a Back Door Man

*Sexually Explicit – I actually thought a few times before putting this up. If you are squeamish then please leave this be. But no hate mail please although comments are welcome.

Gonzo and I were chatting this weekend as we usually do. He has hooked up with hot mama two or three times and he is starting to THINK again. I swear he reminds me of George from Seinfeld sometimes. When he was scouting her he would be like, “Dude, should I go for her? I really like her. But she is married”. Now he is like, “Bro, I think I am not really into this lady. I am not sure how to get out of this”. Fuckin-A Gonz, take a stand and stick with it for fucks sake!!! Anyways, let’s take this slow.

So I think I mentioned that Gonzo had some awesome sex, so being the action man that he is, they headed back for seconds some time last week. According to him things got a lot more hot and heavy as the walls came down and they both felt more inhibited. Apparently hot mama loves to suck dick. There is a word for this although I do not recall what it is. I have never met women like that. I mean I have met women that don’t mind and even enjoy a bit of 69ing as foreplay but I have never been with a woman who loves to suck dick. He claims she spent almost 20 minutes down there and even gave her self an orgasm while giving him head. That is the first time I have ever heard of that even, but Gonzo is not one to tell wild lies. He also added that she gives some funky head that involved ice, then warm water, and a whole lot of tongue wiggling.

So during the course of their liaison, he was behind her going at it doggy style when she looked back at him and said, “Stick it in my ass”. Now as you can imagine, this put the Gonz in a weird predicament. Personally I have never engaged in anal sex but to be honest the thought has crossed my mind. I mean, this is a topic that has been exposed and discussed on many television programs and there are a number of porn sites and movies that focus on anal, so let’s not be squeamish. It’s out there. I have met women before who have to remain virgins till marriage but they engage in anal. I have asked if they can achieve an orgasm that way and they confirmed. So I did some research on line and there are a lot of women who prefer to take it up the ass. They say it “fills” them and as for the guy’s, they like the aspect that it is tighter.

When I think of anal sex I remember a special assembly we had back in high school. I can’t recall if it was all about safe sex or for what reason we were subjected to this at the tender age of 15-16, but there are words that were said that ring through my mind till today. The guy giving the presentation was a large Scottish man with a thick accent. I recall clearly the image (see below) he drew on the white the white board as he bellowed, “The anus is a ONE WAY PASSAGE!!! Exit only!!”. This message left a lasting impression on me so I have never looked upon anal sex fondly. But as I researched the subject I have found that it is widely accepted and practiced in many parts of the world, not only by homosexual men, but heterosexual partners. There are even websites dedicated to educating people about practicing anal sex safely. The 2 essential points though are cleanliness and lubrication. They advise you to use some form of astro jelly and to use it abundantly. When you feel you have enough, add more! Basically, a condom won’t cut it unless you are dating a porn star. Anyways, the information is out there if you need it. I have no other advice to offer you regarding anal sex.

So as Gonzo kneeled there on the bed, sweat beading on his forehead, he had moments to decide whether to take the plunge or not. He asked her if she was sure and if it was going to hurt. He told me that she reached back and put a dab of what looked like Vaseline on her hole and buried her face into the pillow telling him to go for it. According to him it took a few minutes to work his way in but once inside he said it was way different from conventional fucking and hearing her moan and watching her cringe in ecstasy turned him on in a way. He is not a masochist and I know he does not get off on inflicting pain but he said the “squeeze” really kicked things into a higher gear. Naturally I asked him if there was a smell, or dare I say, residue… I had to ask dammit. And he said that there was nothing nasty about it at all.

So as Gonzo relayed this story to me I sat on my stool with my mouth wide open. In less then a month, my main man has gone from being a relatively sexually naïve boy into an adulterous, sodomizing, gigolo!! Am I disappointed in him? Hell no! You only live once so if it’s out there you might as well try it. Opportunity knocks at your door but you have to open it yourself. Nothing is just going to fall in your lap. Should the opportunity come my way some day in the future I might give it a shot but I sure as hell am not going to ask any girl I hook up with if I can take her from behind. I don’t know how a woman would react to that. This reminds me of a joke/story. I heard this from a movie I think. One guy says to the other guy, “Have you ever bucked the bronco”? The other guys replies negative and asks what that is. “The next time you are doing her doggy style, just as you are about to come, punch her in the back of the head and see how long you can stay on”!! I know that is nasty but it cooks up a funny image in my head.

So why does he want to end it with her? Is it a lingering sense of guilt? I don’t know. I can’t put my finger on it and neither can he. Could he be bored already? How will she react? This was supposed to be no strings attached sex right so she has no right to be pissed. But I guess nothing in life is just free like that. Gonzo, I leave with a few words from my man Jim Morrison:

Yeah, I’m a back door man.
The men don’t know,
But the little girls understand.


Shan said...

Deep post dude...very deep. Pardon the pun :D

Avi said...

Do you remeber that assembly in the small hall?

And people, I AM NOT GONZO. There is not only one GONZO either. Just let it alone and enjoy the mystery dammit!