Wednesday, August 24, 2005

I Got 99 Problems But A Bitch Aint One...

That should be a good thing right? Well maybe if I HAD a bitch and she wasn’t giving me any problems. But that’s a highly unlikely scenario. Not the possibility of me as having a chick, but of having a chick and her not giving me any problems. Yeah… You know what I mean.

I haven’t been giving Gonzo much attention lately. He has been busy getting his act together and I have been getting my life back on track as well. For some reason when the 2 of us link up, all hell breaks loose. I miss the man. I met him after ages last Saturday night. Apparently he managed to break way from the MILF and get himself into a cozy relationship with long term perspective. Isn’t that fucking sweet? In all honesty I have not been getting my life on track for shit (cause I don’t need to) but every time I called Mr. Gonzalez to join me for a drink, he was always making some bitchy little excuse. And now I know why. He got a case of the Jones’s. What ever happened to bro’s before hoes?

But I guess this was bound to happen. None of us are getting any younger. It is about time that G settles down with a nice lady and thinks about spawning, even though nothing scares me more than the thought of more Gonzo’s. But this girl is so fucking Vanilla and Gonzo is Tutti-Frutti. Well okay, not fruity but he is defiantly like Belgian chocolate, with almonds even. What the hell is he gonna get out of a relationship with this Bagvad Geeta Basher? I can already see how he is holding himself back and trying to be all considerate and decent. If it was because he was madly deeply in love with this chick, I could try to small kind understand it. But I don’t see any sparks man. He is selling out. This is the man who idolizes Bam Margera. He smoked more ganja than Eaak a Mouse and Julian Marley put together. He did more drugs than a 50 year old Grateful Dead roadie (aka Dead Head). Has the lion been tamed?

So its Wednesday today and since meeting on Satarday I have had more calls from Gonzo than I have had in the last month. I guess now that his relationship is out of the closet he feels he can call me for advice or support. Fuck that cuz! This isn’t my problem. He got all these issues about how she buys him really lame shirts that are so not his style, she wants him to take her to the mall all the time, she wants to go watch movies just the 2 of them, and she makes him go out with her friends. This is not the kind of crap we have ever needed to discuss in the past. He sounded so docile. So I asked him, “Dude, she must be takin dam good care of you in bed if you are chasing her around like this.” And he tells me that they haven’t even hit it. Now I am not some sort of unemotional beast that does not see the romance in this but for god’s sake, THIS IS GONZO!!! Has the whole fucking world gone nuts? And though all this I see him conform like a puppy. And even if he does really love this girl in some strange, why, why does he have to sacrifice his individuality? Where is the beast I once new and called my brother? Could this be the work of a dukun (black magician)?

I guess I should just be happy for my mate and walk away. But on some level it does not seem natural to me that a person should change so much over night. I hear all the time about people changing their perspectives and ideas but at the base of it I think there is a constant being that we ARE. That which can not change. You may be able to mold stuff around it to make it look different but you can’t change what lies beneath no matter how much you may think you have. It’s like a genetic code. And why should you change it? That is what makes you unique. We all confirm to fit in with the people around us and to suit the situation but such drastic change is not healthy. I can’t really stand to be around this “new” Gonzo right now because it straight up pisses me off. I want to slap him across his mug and say, “Who the fuck are you trying to fool you demented bastard?” Obviously I will not.


It is like watching a bomb defuse itself. When a fuse for a bomb is lit it gives the bomb purpose. It is heading in a particular direction with a goal. Once the bomb is diffused it has no function at all. It can’t even be called a bomb anymore. So what if it was meant to destroy and wreak havoc to all around it? That is what it was made to do. Now it can not do anything else except maybe serve as a door stop! I am not going to be a fucking door stop. I would rather find someone to light the fuse.

HIT ME!!!

7 comments:

AmitD said...

So, you intend to be one hundred percent yourself when you do hook up? I would like to see that my friend. It is not possible. No woman will ever let their man be the same independent fella he was when he was single and vice versa. Of course we would want to stay as much ourselves as possible, which is enough of a battle itself.
Cut your friend some slack dawg... happens to the best of us. :)

ival said...

I think you would really be a true friend if you do cut him some slack and then if this phase he is in dies out...hes gonna need you again brah...for friends sake...he will come back to you and you will have to show him some compassion.

But you can always slap him one time before you support him when he comes back.

I thik it alwys happens in realtionships man...at first the girl telle you that you dont have to change a thing,...and then she doesnt like the way you dress...doesnt like you hanging out all night with your buddies...its goes one brah.

Some compromise is always necessary on the guys part...but on the girls part...its all about control man...Guys have to change, but girl stay the same...

Learn it well my friend, or forever make your right hand your wife and your left had your mistress!!

Avi said...

I am not saying I will be exactly the same. But I will not pulla 180. Thats just plain bull shit selling your soul to the devil. And you guys have already bought the lie. There are girls who can respect a mans independant role after marriage. I m not saying I would go fuck around. I am monogomous but I can not respect a guy who totally sells out like that. I cant cut no slack here.

rishtafari said...

I dunno guys... I'm beginning to like Gonzo more and more as I get to know him better. He has real experiences, and he's learning lessons in life through these experiences, sometimes i laff about them and sometimes i sympathize with the bloke (bloke = british for guy), but all in all i definitely feel closer to him. If you ask me, i think Gonzo has grown a lot in a short period of time, and it doesnt matter if he does the right thing or not, as long as hes enjoying his experience without compromising his personality.

If yr reading this 'G' trust your instincts and have no worries, put effort into positive actions/emotions and let go of expectations and you'll cruise thru like the smooth operator u truly r.

ival said...

I like that Rishi...excellent advice. In the end its always about experiences shaping our life!

Avi said...

I am sorry fella’s. I can not agree it does not matter if it wrong or right as long as you enjoy it. Do you remember that scene in One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s nest, right at the end? Murphy comes back to the ward after being lobotomized. The big Indian dude smothers him with a pillow and takes off. Why put Murphy down like that? Because he was a bomb that became a door stop. The personality has been compromised. The true core of his nature has been bastardized!

Your friends keep you in check and G is off the bend, I tell you. You can not turn your back on who you really are. That’s like 50 year old blokes who wake up one day, look at their wife, their grown up kids, and finally admit that they are cross dressing fags. Every thing is not luvly jubly (British for A-Okay). I think I am gonna have to put an end to Gonzo once and for all. Call it euthanasia.

rishtafari said...

Do it dude, i dare u!

Also, i think you watch too many movies :-)
then again you've always been a film production and directing buff right?