Monday, March 13, 2006

Jungle Fever

Over the last few weeks I have read a few posts on some blog’s I frequent regarding interracial marriages and relationships here in Indonesia. Well, mostly people were talking about how Westerners (white men) come here and tend to hook up with young Indonesian women even though they have wives and sometimes even kids back home. Other blog’s and individuals have negatively criticized some of these men who marry Indonesian chicks and stay here to earn their living. I did agree with what some of the writers had to say but I felt there is a whole level that was not even addressed.

I do not feel the need to add links to any of these posts because this is not a rebuttal but rather just my point of view and my observations to ADD to the insight. These other articles caused me to think, which I have mentioned before is a very dangerous past time for me. But none the less I was forced to take notice of what was going on around me. In my opinion it is a damn good article of it resonates like that.

It is a natural flaw we possess in communication that causes us to generalize, and it should be made clear that not ALL Westerners living or working here are out to score some underage puntang and/or marry some PYT (pretty young thing) that will serve and satisfy his every need. Just as not ALL guys named Bismillah are out to topple democracy and the US government, just this one might be.

Western businessmen traveling to Indonesia have been accused of being fat dirty old men just looking for a kinky fuck. The girls who sleep with them have been pitied for having to having to copulate with the brutes. Well, if you take a look at ‘Tiga Puluh’, ‘BATS’, or ‘CJ’s’, where the bulk of foreign business men pick-up after hours, you will see the joint teaming with scantily dressed young women draped around these ‘bules’ (white dudes) with big smiles plastered on their faces. They also get totally drunk and have an awesome time. They are not forced to hang out in these bars or with those men but they choose to do it. Paid for or not (many of these girls are not after cash but rather commitment), this is consensual flirting, drinking, and sex. It is a 2 way street and there are no victims in this game.

As for foreigners being married to Indonesian women here, every guy I know that is, is totally whipped by his wife. When we are out at a bar drinking the wives will usually hang back and let her husband be the man, but if we are out to dinner or spending a day out, this chick will not hesitate to set things straight when he talks shit. That is a normal relationship if you ask me. These guys do a lot more work and pay tons more attention to their wives than any Indonesian man I have seen. In fact the interracial marriages I have seen here tend to be more balanced than the Indo-Indo ones where the men are generally in control. Who could blame an Indonesian girl for wanting to marry a man that will respect her and treat her as an equal? Plus their kids have a better chance of being a model or actor!! And even if the man is less attractive but very wealthy, so what? There are numerous examples all over the world where women marry for financial security, not to mention in the society I live in. If I had a dollar for every time I saw a hot chick with an ugly looking rich dude, I would have a hot chick in my arm too. Donald Trump?

What is it that attracts the men to the Asian women? Are the Indonesian dames less pushy than the women back home? Maybe so and maybe that is what some of these guys are looking for but factors like that are really on an individual basis. It is possible that most Asian women are not career driven and prefer to devote time to their husband and children. So what the fuck is wrong with wanting that? If that is what you like then why the hell should you not seek it? Personally I like independent chicks with goals and dreams but that is my personal attraction. Seeking a tender woman to suit your needs would only be as wrong as a man with preference for blondes seeking one to fill his. And I will also add that not all Indo girls are pushovers. Some people tend to think that all Asian women are weak and submissive. That is SO not the case. Women are women and some of these Indo girls could open a verbal can of whoop ass on any over educated white girl I ever met. Let’s not even get into the Indian ones!!!

And why is all this negative attention paid to white men in the Far East? Sex is available for sale here just as it is in Vegas, London, Paris, New York, Johannesburg, and practically every where else in the world! Why not criticize the Asian men who travel overseas to indulge in their debauchery? Those fellows are just as twisted if not more. Even over here, it is the local men who indulge in the really twisted fantasies out in China town. There is stuff going on there that I do not even want to think about. And there is very little that would ever make me cringe.

Men are also men and this is not a problem associated with only white men or Asian men but most men in general. We are weak minded and when the flow of blood to our brains is even slightly reduced we are no longer in full control of our actions. Some men give in to temptation and others hold fast. Seriously though, there are numerous men that would NEVER infringe upon their moral beliefs. Seriously…

As for infidelity, there is no excuse. Personally I have never nor would I ever cheat on a person I am in a relationship with. But some men do. That is also not a problem associated with any single race of man but rather men in general, and women too. There are numerous male escort services in Jakarta and Bali that cater to women. These women are usually still married looking for a romp in the sack with a young smooth Indonesian lad that could surely out perform their out of shape husbands at home. So this is not just a problem with white men but rather a problem with the human psyche as a whole.

As human beings we NEED to seek love, attention, comfort, and sexual gratification. They are basic human needs just as food, water, and shelter are. Without this contact we loose a bit of what it is that makes us human. You should be lucky enough to stumble upon someone in this short life that can fill that void for you and if you can’t then you have to take the next best thing that comes your way. If the only way you can feel complete is by paying a man or woman to hold you and want you, as long as it is consensual, then so be it. Judging white men for marrying an Asian woman is just as ridiculous as condemning a black for marrying a white or an Indian for marrying Japanese. Individuals are perverted, not entire races. If they were then all Arabs would be terrorists and all Africans drug dealers and thieves.

There are a few white guys living in Indonesia that I know of who read this blog and they are married to Indonesian women. It would be very unfair for them to ever have to justify or feel ashamed for living the life they choose to. The generalizations they sometimes face are down right racist. But there will always be ignorant people all over the world that will continue allowing their beliefs to be dictated by simplification. In some cases I might be one of them too. Live and learn I guess.


sur said...

yeah i read an article in ME (mens emporium) Magazine. It actually mentioned an interesting reason as to why this happens. They said that a lot of foreign men know how to make local women feel good as in their pretty easy with their I love you's or you have beautiful eyes etc. These generous verbal offerings are what the local women appreciate. They won't here this stuff at home from Indonesian men.
Lemme know if you agree with my observation


Avi said...

true say. somtimes these little things make all the difference.

so do you get a tingle between you thighs when she says 'surri you complete me'?

AmitD said...

Hmmmm good stuff avi. That would ring true for Accra as well no? Lots of white guys come to Ghana and meet a nice ghanaian girl and get married and have kids. Sometimes their kids turn out very well as we all know. I see on many an occasion an older white dude with his young Ghanaian wife and they seem very content. She is with a man who talks to her, treats her well and it doesn't hurt if he has money as well. He in turn is with a fine young woman who also treats him well and doesn't care that he is leaning towards the older side. I personally don't see anything wrong if they don't see anything wrong with it. Why should I or anybody judge two people who are happy with the choice they have made? It doesn't hurt me and sure as hell shouldn't hurt anybody else (unless the dude or girl does have a family elsewhere).
Lets face it, women are different all over the world. If a man happens to like the women of another country coz they are different to the women of his own place, or more friendly or more accepting then why not? Men are men and women are women. Where you come from should not be an issue. Hell, in the future the world will be full of brown skinned people anyway as we all integrate more and more into each other's cultures.
Brown skin will rule the world baby!! hehe

treespotter said...

i know i wanna say something... can't remember what now after reading the whole thing top to bottom. your ADD is almost as bad as me.

i've lived in several different countries and have been involved seriously with girls (i married one of them) from different cultures. i think it's the fact that being different, they're exotic, regardless of the color.

can't remember the other thing... r u married?

Avi said...

amit - thays deep cuz. how is the wedding comming along?

tree- when i get worked up I am all over the place i guess. marriage for me? hell no...

IndCoup said...

Yet another fucking class A post from Avi!

Most foreigners here have at least some money, and wherever you are in the world, no matter what fucking skin color you have, as long as you have money, you can get chicks. I’m not saying all women only want money, but the fact is if you are a fairly good looking guy and you smell of money, you can get chicks for fun. London, Paris, Jakarta wherever.

And from a woman’s point of view that’s entirely logical: would you rather spend the night in the Hyatt or a shitty motel?

And many foreigners – NOT just Caucasians but also Arabs, Asian and African dudes also score chicks in a big way in Jakarta.

As for serious relationships, Asian women are attractive for many reasons: mostly cos they still hold family values unlike Western chicks who won’t even make you a fucking coffee in the morning (sorry generalization, I know).


Anonymous said...

well done avi. good thinking watson. nelly said it right brah- IT MUST BE THE MONEY!

on mixed relationships- in every culture u have a taste of good and bad. here there are many great relationships, and many who have failed drastically. i met a redneck texan on a plane once who was on his way manila to marry this chick he had never met coz she was so 'nice' and would probably make his coffee in the morning. i think the reason why foreigners like locals is that they are submissive and exotic- to start with. once they get in their comfort zone, they can open that can of whoop ass and give simon cowell a run for his money. but then again there are many that are genuinely like that, and stay that way. its just that we hear more of shit that goes bad rather than things going well to make us generalize like this.

locals being attracted to foreigners- it was put perfectly by spg on that should give everyone an insight into a girls mind.

on cheating- i think there are 2 main dillema that men face. one is that fact that they can do it and not be caught which gets their goat. the other is the risk of being caught which floats their boat. i think most men fall into one or the other. again, everyone is different, and u have many exceptions. there are folks who really dont want to do it, but an opportunity arises with a liz hurley look alike and the blood has already flowed outta their big head... there are folk whose wives just dont cut it anymore or will never get on top and they need some of that loving (and in some cases their wives are even aware of this but let it go quietly) ... and i can keep going but u get the general idea.

take it easy and keep up good shit like this.

oigal said...


Thanks for that, I am one of those married to an Indonesian girl. She already had a child when we met and whose "hubby" just walked out on her several years before (mind you turned up later when he found she had married a Bule figured there was money to be had..bad move).

I have never been happier after many have got to be kidding!! but ultra supportive in public

Only down side is the odd comment from rude, ignorant morons lying around all day (soon as they see a indonesian woman with a Bule)but even thats fun nowdays as our eight year old boy will walk up and give them what for (and they are so surprised when the Bule walks back and speaks indonesian as well)

Avi said...

I am glad this post has had such a positive response. This reverse rasicm is somthing i was only recently made aware of by other blogs I read. It was obvious that not many others realised the up side to why local chicks chase the white guys. And I guess I could lay it out from a non-bias poit of view considering I am not a 'bule' myself. But Oigal, you are a splendid example.

Anony-- Is that you Lavi? You crack me up dude. Why the blogs comming so slow?