A Sipple of the Zipple

Last night, before heading out to diner I stopped in at a bar near my house for a pick me up. It was only 7pm at the time so the place was totally empty. From the outside this bar looks pretty small and mundane, but upon entering it revealed itself to be quite large with 3 pool table areas!! The bar which is centrally located is about 5 feet wide and 20 feet long at least, with a silver pole on each corner stretching to the roof. Being the curious George that I am, I also noticed a set of small rustic steps going up to the bar. Poles, steps… This could only mean one thing. DANCERS!!

Loads of bars in Jakarta have dancers that come in and prance around the bar tops, pouring drinks down horny men’s throats to fuel the flames that burn in their loins. The only place I have actually seen the women take serious action and work the customers is at Zen on Thamrin. But that place is a bar-come-karaoke joint. They have the usual hostesses and strippers in the private rooms, behind locked doors. There is no real place for good innocent fun. The place I went to last night was a regular bar. I expected them to have the regular dance troop putting up a show every now and then. As I sat there sipping my JD coke, the bartender informed me that they had dancers at the bar every day except for Sunday when they are closed. We chatted a while and I took of on my way.

As we were heading home around 12.30am, we decided to stop in and have one for the road, which makes little sense since my house is literally around the corner from there. But you know how the story goes. I walked in to see a room the size of a tennis court full of Chinese men. Something was definitely sketchy. Gonzo and I planted ourselves in the back, concealed by the shadows, and we cracked open a bottle of JD. I figured as I live so close I could stop in every now and then to nurse the bottle. The dancers took the platform and proceeded to shake their booties as the gents stared in excitement. The routine was standard and we were about to leave when I noticed a nipple. Yes… One of the 6 dancers flashed me a sample of her nipple. I immediately sat back down and maintained eye contact. This is Indonesia, the largest Muslim population in the world! There is no way in hell that a woman could flash her nipple in a regular bar. Loads of freaky shit goes down in Kota and other derelict districts but not here in a regular bar in Kelapa Gading. And right there in the middle of the bar?! Was my mind fucking with me? Had I been celibate so long that I was seeing a mirage?

Ten minutes later I was staring, with my jaw hanging down to my knees, at 6 sets of wonderful perky nipples!! Gonzo and I were completely blown away. The ladies were swinging to the beats wearing only their tight black shorts and their shirts were lying lifeless on the bar top. All this was happening right near my own house and I had no fucking idea. Brothers were buying some mystery shot that cost Rp.50,000 for the dancers. The ladies place the drink in the customer’s mouth and spend 2 minutes drinking it out of there using only their mouth. I was not keen to try this after seeing numerous men queue up for the experience, but Gonzo, being the shameless bastard that he is, was right there in line with Rp.150,000 in hand. He figured he needed at least 6 minutes to get his rocks off. That bastard really was not shy at all. I almost fell of my chair when I saw him actually take a sipple of her nipple!! Only Gonzo could manipulate his way from her lips all the way down to her tits without her even posting an objection.

Needless to say, we spent quite a while there and almost polished that damn bottle. They are having a wild Jamaican night there on the 7th of July. I will be there fo-sho. Contrary to what you might think, it is a cool place for ladies to come hang out as well. The atmosphere is clean and styrish (as my Japanese friend says). I realize I haven’t mentioned exactly where it is but I am sure you can figure it out. Where there is a will there is a way. Puts, Inny, Surri, daddy got a brand new bag baby!

Right now I am really hung over and I got shit loads of work to do before I jump the plane to Bali. You all have a great weekend cause I know I will. Saturday is Canada Day so go out and hug a maple tree or something. I will have maple syrup with my pancakes as a tribute cause there aint no maple tree’s in Indo.