Wannabe Cops

After having lunch at Hot Shots the other day, I took a walk around La Piazza to take some pictures. After all I figure I would be giving them some publicity. All of a sudden some asshole security guard comes up to me and tells me I can’t take pictures here AND he wants to see my camera so he can delete the images. Yeah right!! Like I am gonna hand over my digital camera to some wannabe cop. So I said the first thing that came to my mind, which is probably not the best thing I could have said. I said, “Fuck off, that’s bull shit”. You see he was rude to me first. Rather than saying excuse me and asking politely, he chose to tap my shoulder and bark orders at me. Within minutes there were 3 guards around me asking for my camera. Now I am not a small fellow so I stood my ground and told them that if they wanted it they would have to rip it from me. That being said I puffed out my chest and casually strolled out of the complex continuing to take pictures. Why do I have to be such a cheeky bastard?

I hate security guards. I don’t know why but I just do, especially in this country where they all try to assert an air of authority. All you gotta do here is give a man a uniform and a whistle and suddenly he thinks he is Wyatt fuckin Earp. Even the gad damned parking guys. For those of you who live here, I am sure you have noticed that when you pull into a difficult spot there is no one to guide you in, but as you are ready to leave and the coast is clear all around you, some chump will jump out of the wood work to start blowing his whistle and yell, TERUUUS, TERUUS!!!”. And then you HAVE to pay the guy Rp.2000. It’s not the money but the principality of the whole thing. Just writing about it gets me in a huff.

My cuzin told me the other day that as he was leaving a mall and some security guard who was lounging back in a chair reached over and touched his hand and said, “Boss, ada kerja buat saya ngak?” That means do you have any work for me. He said this he was totally slumped in his chair. What the fuck did he think the man would say? Yeah, come sleep outside my office? You got a job mister, do it!

I really need this break to Bali before I end up committing murder. This is what living in a concrete jungle can do to you. My edginess by also just be a result of the fact that I did not go out this weekend. All work and no play makes Avi manic depressive and homicidal. One more day baby!!!

Here are a few more places you can munch at while visiting La Piazza in Kelapa Gading. There are a lot more places there but I guess I won’t be taking no more pictures. Other places worth visiting are La Porchetta, Churasco Brazilian Grill, Singapore Hawker Stall, and others. The Piazza also has a Happy Puppy Karaoke joint which is really high tech and they serve pretty cheap bottles of vodka. Its like I have been a fucking spokesperson for this place!! They should hire me for PR dammit.