Yesterday was the first day back to school. Not for me, but for my nephews, the triplets. With my sister off at work it was up to me to escort the boys to school. I walked into the preschool and what a scene it was. First off I had to wake up at 7am, which is abnormally early for me, and then I was confronted with a building full of screaming children. I swear it was like these kids were being marched to the electric chair. I saw kids screaming and kicking, yelling “I want to go home”. Luckily we had already been prepping the boys and they were well under control but they seemed almost as freaked out as I was. There were even mothers standing in the corridors watching their desperate children through the glass, covering their mouths and holding back their tears. I wanted to ditch the kids and run but their respective teachers were too busy trying to handle the chaos at hand.
Through the large green double door at the end of the corridor, with a burst of smoke surrounding him (not really), in walked the Stepford Dad, with his son in tow. Now we all know what a Stepford wife is and that is why I call this dude the Stepford Dad. He was wearing his crisp black trousers and his pin striped shirt, freshly pressed, with his branded sunglasses hanging from the left breast pocket. Freshly shaved, he marched in, kind of like in slow motion, very casually and apparently unaffected by the mayhem that was unfolding all around us. As he walked towards me with his hand extended I made the mistake of looking down and was blindsided by the diamond studded gold Gucci belt buckle he was wearing. It reflected the bright white lights straight into my eyes and I fumbled, missing his hand completely. It was like a scene from revenge of the nerds. I quickly regained composure and greeted him and his son. They were both very well groomed with almost matching haircuts, except that Stepford Dad’s was held in place by glossy gel.
He casually bent down to address my boys and I looked down at them too. Their hair is down to their shoulders now and one of them has a mullet that I fashioned myself. He has soft curly hair that looks a bit like Morrison’s. I am growing the other ones out to make him some dreadlocks eventually. Well, little dreads at least. It is a project I am working on. As for my self, I was wearing an old white button down shirt (not tucked in), blue jeans (not washed for a week), and beige caterpillar boots (been to hell and back). Not exactly your conventional businessman appearance. But in my defense, I did have a day on the road planned out with no major meetings.
This guy was something else I tell you. On the last sports day at school, we were spit into four teams and each given shaded area to decorate. We (my team) took sandwiches and beers (lots of) and proceed to wrap some colorful streamers around the place. Stepford’s team actually had food catered!! Plus he had his staff helpers around doing loads of work to pretty up the place. The other thing we had to do was come up with a cheer for our teams. We went up with some song my sister and I came up with on the spot. Some silly tune I do not even want to recall. But it was well spirited and fun. Those guys actually took the team to a studio and recorded their cheer over the chorus of a Hindi pop song which they blared on the speakers as they pranced around like cheer leaders!!! As for the competitive steak, let me not even go there.
Today as I went to drop the boys off at school again. I picked my clothes out wisely, planning to show up Mr. Stepford, but alas I got caught in traffic and it seems I wasted time trimming my beard for nothing. I was late. But seriously though, I have no aspiration to be a Stepford anything. I don’t expect my self to be perfect let alone the boys. In fact, I encourage them to be a bit rowdy once in a while. After all I don’t want to really fuck with “who they are”.
There are some interesting things to check out on the web today. Secret Post has some new images up. There is one about buggers that freaked me out. Also Kenny Sia put up a post of his recent trip to Singapore that included some pictures of him and a nude/stripping Sarong Party Girl, that were taken at the Singapore bloggers convention. Now before you bastards run off following the links you should know that the pictures have been removed. Poor Kenny put them up as a humorous post but instead the guy got knocked the fuck out by his readers/fans. This is one of the reasons why fame sucks. The comments were quite harsh and judgmental in my opinion but every one is entitled to their own. Other bogs have also dedicated entire posts to this topic and are having a field day verbally ripping people to shreds. As I have mentioned both these blog’s here before I thought some of you (Lavi) might be interested to read the comments.