Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Porningations

People all over the world enjoy porn. They enjoy porn magazines, websites, and movies. I have personally seen Japanese porn, German porn, Brazilian porn, British porn, and mostly American porn. I know that is a shit load of porn but I went through some lonely times back in the mid 90’s. Plus my room mate (no names but you know who you are) had a pretty extensive stash. But having lived in 2 of the most populous countries of the world, India and Indonesia (apart from other countries), I have never really seen any local pornographic pictures or movies. Yes there are some steamy pictures and scenes in films but no XXX rated stuff.

How did these poor brothers and sisters get their rocks of without access to good quality pornographic films? They seem to be doing fine in the baby factory department but it can’t all be missionary. Apart from just being entertaining I found these films to be pretty educational at a time when my parents were too prude explain the ‘ins and outs’ of sex to me. In such conservative countries/societies these films should be mandatory. There must be some underground movement of porno films in India at least. Those people know how to make money and this is a gold mine. I think it would be safe to assume that porn is one of the most profitable web based businesses today. In Indonesia there is the occasional hidden camera voyeur VCD in the black market but nothing main stream.

I recently came across a website (that I forgot to bookmark so I can’t share the link) that had a collection of old Indian movie posters. I guess this is good old Indian porn. And it is fucking hilarious. My Hindi is not so good so please feel free to opine. If any of you have seen any of these films or can get hold of some for me, please let me know. Until then I will just use my imagination. About the movies content for gods sake!

Stree Purush – A Sex Educational Film



The picture is a classic scene of a Suhag Raat, the first night a couple spends together after marriage. If I had little or no exposure to sex I would opt to buy this film as sexual education. But for kicks, I doubt I would venture there. Although there is an A rating on the left hand side of the poster, I don’t think there would be any hard core footage. But I am curious.

Purana Purush


I don’t know what ‘purush’ means but it seems to be something steamy, like fling or affair. I like the way the A rating has been incorporated into the design of the poster. As for the Tarzan looking dude, I doubt any of us would want to see him in action. This must be some sort of woman lost in the jungle theme. Maybe she captured by the savages and Tarzan man saves her in exchange for sexual favors.

???


I have no idea what this says but the black bathroom slippers don’t do it for me. However this is probably the only movie poster that looks like the film might actually has some x rated footage. As for the girl, she’s not really my type. And what is with the back ground? It like they stuck the pictures of the girl to common lined paper and sent it to the press.

Lady Killer



The title is self explanatory, sexy murder mystery. But somehow I don’t think the chick on the poster is gonna get killed. She is the probably the one who takes out the killer. She looks pissed off with that finger pointed out like that. Hell, I would not wanna mess with her. She looks scarier than the guy with the chainsaw even. I am rooting for him. That’s a pretty revealing leg shot though.

Ladki – Girl


If this director was trying to target the barely legal market with the title ‘girl’, he should have put some younger chicks on the poster. I will not be mean and diss the models he chose but why did he choose a picture of a woman in that striped pink towel yaar? And she looks like she is dancing too. Why is she dancing in her towel? As for the back ground bull’s eye print, I live it. So retro 70’s.

Doraha – And There Were 2.


I think I might be very wrong about the translation of the title here. But I love this poster. First off the way the artist incorporates the A rating again. And secondly the picture of the dude in the A. He got that slick slim moustache and the cigarette hanging out the side of his mouth. Kya hero hai re!!! As for the guy on the bed, he just looks scared. Maybe he is shocked she pulled away the yellow covers. Who the hell got yellow covers? But she is kinda hot.

Miss. Pamela


I had to include this one because this might be the first famous Indian porn star I saw. The poster introduces her as “Silk Smita”. This could be our equivalent of Jenna Jameson. The name has such a nice ring to it. Silk Smita… Hmmm. I’m thinking website.

Test Tube Baby



I can not even venture to think what this movie is about. The title just scares the hell out of me.

Badan – Body


Could this movie be targeted at females? The guy seems to be the one on show in the poster. And we all know that aint no Indian dude. He has NO hair on his body. That is impossible. I do have to give it up for the artist though. I like the way the guy is sleeping on the title of the film and there are all these little hearts all over the place.

Miss. 420



I like this one the best. I know in India 420 means to double cross or scoundrel but in my head it still means time to blaze a J. I don’t know man, every time I look at this I just crack up.

Honestly though, there must be some underground Indian porn ring. There is too much money in that market for no one to be tapping it. My mate just moved back to India and I must advise him to venture forth into this field. India needs a Hugh Hefner. I can’t find any real information online about the industry there so if any of you have some interesting articles, hook me up. Just for general knowledge lah!

5 comments:

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Shan said...

OMG this is so funny!!!!
By the way, you got Spammed also dude.
Dang! Doesn't it make you want to actually visit said sites and flood theirs with crap?

mogs said...

Shit man....haha....dude...where do you get this stuff from? When I saw the Miss 420 poster at first, I thought it read Miss 42C. I got quite excited. As for Indian porn movies, it isn't even spoken of as far as I know, but they do exist. That I can attest to. I have flipped through an Indian porn magazine once. Pretty soft stuff though compared to the American market.

aisha said...

lol. Purush means 'male' or 'man' btw.
Also Silk Smitha is like hugely popular and a well known actress even... Im not sure if she did any commericial cinema... i think she did... apart from porn that is... i didnt know she did porn actually... and Miss420 ... 420 is like... 007... not exactly but its associated with 'smooth criminal'. And Miss 420 i dont think is a porn flick... its got that rap dude on its cover... i rem the promos fr the film... baba sehgal.. thts his name...
the text u couldnt read says: Kaathil Nigaahein... Killer Looks... and the 'Ladki' one is actually 'Ladki Badnaam Si'- something like Loose Girl...
cant believe u found all this stuff on the 'net!!!lol!
Damn it Avi... dont u got no work?!

Avi said...

Shan, Thats what the fuckers want us to do.

Mogs, you know you are the friend in india I was talking about. I think its time we diversify and make some real dirty money.

Aisha, I know you would come though on the meanings. And thanks for saying I have no work (usually I am quite bindass). I have been swamped all day now!!! Dammit!