Friday, October 14, 2005

We Love Boobies

Tits don’t sound so hot when you refer to them as mammary glands. But functionally, that is what they are. They exist, or women have evolved this way to nurse their young. Somewhere along the way however they have become a tool, or trait to attract the opposite sex in humans. You don’t see dogs, horses, or cows going for the mate with the bigger udders. But with human beings, the breasts have become a central focal point.

Everybody loves boobs. Men are obviously are infatuated and women are also intrigued. Even they can appreciate a good natural set. They love what they got because it makes them different and special. And they know we crave it. As for kids, well their food comes from there so of course they are going to be drawn to breasts. Maybe that is where our obsession stems from. Freud would surely agree with that.

Over the last few decades women have been provided with the means of making their boobs even more attractive to other people. The Wonder Bra was a fucking break though. The person who invented that should be given the Nobel Prize for something or the other. Then we have fashion designers who are constantly creating new outfits that enhance cleavage and the “neck line”. And how can we forget the silicone implant. Women all over the world can now be whatever size they want. We even have breast reductions. There is a perfect tit out there for everyone!

All breasts are perfect as they are if you ask me. I do not like silicone tits either. I am an advocate of the natural form! I am not crazy about one particular type of boob over another (I like them all; I am not a boobist) but I recently read this article that features a new enhancement that has me singing a different tune (pun intended).

“Computer chips that store music could soon be built into a woman's breast implants. One boob could hold an MP3 player and the other the person's whole music collection. BT Futurology, who have developed the idea, say it could be available within 15 years.”

WHAT!!?? Yes, you heard it. Your whole music collection in your ladies breasts. What more do we need in life. And in case you are wondering, it is controlled by Bluetooth. And you can stick a USB cord up her ass to upload new songs! (kiddin) Your girlfriend/wife can now be an ipod with tits!!! They come in all colors and sizes. I wonder if bigger tits hold more songs. You can take your big breasted girl to your homies house party and hook her up to the speakers with Bluetooth. What will they do next, adjustable volume from one nipple and track search on the other?

*No offense to the ladies. I think that this is pretty damn ridiculous too.


AmitD said...

How bout one boob for music and the other a tap where you can suck some beer out of.
Of course that is the silliest thing you could do to one of god's gifts to man.

Anonymous said...

What if the mp3 player or ipod hanged would you have to hit it or restart it and how does it get charged.


blizzardofoz said...

haahaha...that's the craziest shit I've heard. Next thing you know they'll put speakers under her armpits and call it surround sound!
Jeez! I can see it now. The new pick up line would be , "Wanna hear some tunes?".
Shit, why not go the whole 9 yards and throw in a purse and a little holster for your cell phone? I'm not sure those dudes understand what "mobile computing" really means. lol
Whoever thought of that is a real boob! And I mean that in the true sense of the word.

ival said...

I dont think its ridiculous at all man. I like it. I am a total boob man. Can they also make it in a way that you have to have sex with the iBoob girl to get a full charge??

AmitD said...

I like the way your mind works lavi.

Jax said...

Does kinky sex count as a quick recharge? Maybe even a 10 CD changer in her ass. Yeah, I like the surround sound idea...but she'd have to walk around with her arms up. Although, you could listen to music while having sex...except, I don't think that you'd be doing that to appreciate the music. I'm still going with the friction recharge as proposed by Lavi.

Avi said...

Dont the ladies have any reactions to this? I am curious. As for listening while having sex, I would be makin the bastid skip way to much!!