Essential Christmas

Christmas can be a very disturbing time for some people. Last year I spent the night at home watching movies. No matter how opposed you may be to commercial cinema, B grade movies, or cheesy action flicks, come Christmas there are a few movies that you HAVE to watch… To hell with White Christmas or Charles Dickens “A Christmas Carol” (that’s the Scrooge one right?). That shit is way too old school. Most of us aren’t sitting around drinking hot chocolate with family members on Christmas Eve; we are sitting alone at home thinking about how lonely we are and contemplating drinking ourselves to death. Okay, maybe that’s just me.

With that in mind, I plan to sit back and watch the first Christmas classic, DIE HARD. There is nothing better than starting the night off with some needless violence taking place on Christmas night. It helps get the aggression that has built up over the whole year out to the surface. By the end of the movie you will be shouting “YIPEEE KAYAAAYYY Mutha Fucka!!” right along with Bruce Willis. There is nothing more pleasing than imagining people who have pissed you off this whole year as the bastards he blows away, one by fucking one. Also you can check yourself as a victim of circumstance like Willis’ character in the movie.

After getting all worked up and facing the anger, it’s a good idea to slow things down a bit. This is when you slip in LETHAL WEAPON. If you recall, the film, starts with the song ‘Jingle Bell Rock’ and Mel Gibson holding a 45 to his own head. Well it’s around the beginning somewhere at least. The film on a very suicidal note but as we know, by the end of the film, we are al a bit uplifted and jovial. There is a good mix of humor and action to bring the adrenaline back to a manageable level. The previous film can leave you feeling a bit insane so Gibsons character just throws a little light on it, and Glover is like the rational angel on your shoulder.

To cap off the night there can be only one. HOME ALONE. The violence is slap stick and the humor more intense. That crazy kid got to put a smile on your face. You can always have a good cry when his family forgets him but you feel warm in the end when they are reunited. This film reassures you that there is someone out there thinking of you. Also watching Joe Pesci get knocked around is a really good laugh. Somehow I feel lighter after watching this movie, like if this bastard 7 year old can work things out then so can I.

I know that by the end of this cycle, coupled with the pressures of Christmas, I have totally tied off a bunch of loose strings in my mind. If you dont sleep much then you can watch all 3 or 4 parts of each! I wake up the next morning feeling rejuvenated and ready to face another year dumb ass bull shit from ignorant ass mofos that I still have to work with. Its been a stressful week, and its only just started. Seasons Greetings…