Friday, March 24, 2006

Sadness

*You might find this post a bit disturbing. I know that I do. But it is reality and if you can not handle it then please stop reading now. Plus it's really looooong!!

This is not something I enjoy writing or thinking about but recent events in the news have left me no choice and as much as I have tried to avoid thinking about it, feelings and images have been haunting me over the last week.

This week I read an article in the Jakarta post that was placed in the side bar. It was a small article and most people who only scour the headlines would probably have missed it. A German man returning home to Germany from a holiday in Bali with his Indonesian girlfriend and her 6 year old son was arrested. On the flight the young buy needed to use the bath room so the man accompanied him as most fathers do. When he returned the mother noticed he had a nose bleed and later spotted blood trickling down the young boy’s leg. The man later confessed to the Jakarta police while accompanied by a member of the German consulate/embassy that he stuck his finger in the boy’s ass while in the bathroom…

I also saw a clip on BBC news about 2 British men who were running a charity for homeless children in Mumbai. They had been collecting money through their organization in Britain to set up and run an orphanage in India. Both men were over 50 years old and from their pictures they looked pretty much like any blue eyed, grey haired male, you would run into on the street. They were recently convicted for child abuse along with an Indian accomplice. They had been sodomizing the same kids they were collecting money to save. [link]

Quite a while ago I recall reading a story about an Australian man in Bali who was once employed by their embassy here and was also arrested in connection to child molestation charges. During the trial he hung himself in his jail cell. Stories like this are becoming more and more frequent. These are only a few I recall from memory but if was to do search on the net I am positive there would be hundreds if not thousands of cases all over the world. And those are only the ones that have been reported and we know about.

Rather than simply dismiss such behavior as sick and demented, I try to understand what these freaks are thinking. No person is stupid enough not to realize that using charity as a mask to fuck young boys, or trying to join the mile high club with a six year old child is wrong. Is the German dude sitting in his cell right now wondering why he did such a sick perverted thing to an innocent boy, or is he asking himself why the hell he could not control his urges until he got home?

The most fucked up have to be the fathers who take advantage of their own sons and daughters. There have to be moments in their minds, when they are alone, and they know they will burn in hell, or suffer some horrible fate for these atrocities they commit. They must realize that they are giving in to some disgusting and immoral perversion. How do the minds of these educated people (most of them are) justify this behavior? And what goes through the mind of the priest who sticks his hands down a little boys pants during confession? He surely must consider what his God must be thinking.

There have been a few films that have delved the minds of such perverts. Lolita was written in 1955 and since then there have been 2 film renditions of it. The first was directed by Stanley Kubrick in 1967 and the second in 1997 by Adrian Lyne. I thought the first was way more insightful. Both films are very well made and full of symbolism. If you are not familiar, it is a story of a man who looses his childhood love at a very young age and for that reason notices beauty in young girls. He finds it in Lolita, the daughter of a guest house owner where he is staying. They eventually run away together as the interest is reciprocated. The main male character is a normal man, very charming and delightful in many ways. He does not fit the norm of what most people, then and now, would imagine a sexual predator to be. However the story does harbor another sinister character that is creepy, dressed in dark clothes, and always smokes a cigarette, played by Peter Sellers. He lurks in the shadows trying to lure Lolita to himself. He is typically what you would imagine a pedophile to be. And although both men are equally deranged, one does feel morally superior to the other. The films attempt to make the viewer feel some sympathy for the main character. But the story is romanticized and Lolita is not really portrayed as a victim until the very end. And even then it is not obvious.


In 2004 a film was released staring Kelvin Bacon called The Woodsman. It basically paints the picture of a rehabilitating pedophile and does try very subtly to draw some sympathy for him. His crimes are not romanticized at all and Bacon is living is self contempt for what he has done. It is a fairly realistic portrayal from what I would imagine. He battles his demons and does not expect to be forgiven for his past misgivings. In the end he seeks redemption by saving children from pedophiles like himself. This must have been a very hard roll to play because finding and become that character within the actors mind could be extremely disturbing. There are doors in there that just do not need to be open but collectively the has put together a moving and insightful picture about a subject that is very difficult to talk about.


No film or story can really emulate what a child goes through in the hands of these monster. And for victims such attempts could seem insulting and offensive to say the least. Most people would say why bother even trying to understand, just string them up on a tree by their balls and let’s wail on them with baseball bats. I feel that way too. I do not believe there is any room in society for people who can not control their desires. We all have thoughts. hopefully not about molesting children but sometimes you just want to shoot some fucko in the head after he corners you in a raw business deal, or you want to slit the throat of the Metro bus driver who just rammed into your brand new BMW. Maybe you want to pop the guy you just caught in bed with your wife or girlfriend. Some people have more serious problems that I can’t begin to imagine. But as human beings we are given choice, and free will. We have the knowledge and the inner voice to know what is right and what is wrong. This sets us apart from the other animals around us. If a person realizes that they have these sexual desires and they can not be controlled, they should do themselves and the rest of us a favor by sticking a 45 down their throat and pulling the fucking trigger.

I am not a believer in God and there are more than a few flaws in humanity that I can forgive and in some cases even understand. And with this one I have tried but there is no justification what so ever that could allow me to feel even an ounce of pity for child molesters. Some people call them monsters but that’s not true. Monsters have power, and these men and women who lust after children are parasites.

When I was 12 years old I was in a position that could have become very ugly. I have never talked about this with anyone but my sister. It is not something I really want to talk about with anyone else either so don’t ask. But every time I read about stories like this I think of that fucker and I want to ram my fist down his throat. I am strong now and he is old and weak. The experience did not scar me in any way but rather made me wiser. I never even gave the situation much thought until I was well into my 20’s. But as I am being honest, I guess I should just lay it out there. It was just something that happened and that is all. And I assure you it was not as bad as you imagine it to be.

I wish that there was some way to conclude this entry but there really isn’t. There is no positive spin to put on any of this but it is just something I needed to get out. This shit will keep happening unlike other crimes that can be solved by education and the obliteration of poverty. It might happen, though it is not likely. But shit like this, it will not go away until we all go away. Children will go missing, aged rock stars like Gary Glitter and MJ will retreat to obscure countries where they hope their crimes shall pass unnoticed (as long as they can afford it). This ‘affliction’ which was common to men has also been found in women such as Mary Kay Letourneau who has now given birth to children from her 13 year old victim. Its only getting worse. Sometimes I really wish a giant meteorite would slam into this obscure little planet and just put an end to all this bull shit.

8 comments:

AmitD said...

Yo dawg that's good stuff. I think one thing that is very very hard to do is to delve into the mind of a pedophile. I mean where to start? How can you try to imagine how a person would be sexually interested in a child, be it a boy or girl? Sometimes just the thought of it takes you to places you don't want to go.
A pretty ugly mess happened in my school while I was there. Our boarding school is divided to senior and junior school. Junior from class 2 - 5 and senior from 6 - 12. It turns out that the headmaster of our junior school was a pedophile. Once we were in class 6 some complaints came out of junior school about the headmaster molesting them, next thing you know a few of my classmates came forward as well with their stories of the same thing. He didn't go all the way with them so to speak but any act is bad enough. Needless to say, he was sacked immediately. Not sure what else was done as I was too young to know the details but it was a pretty messy affair and I wonder where he is now and what happened to him. Hopefully it's not good.

Einar said...

In Norway we have an expression that says that a "nakkeskudd" (shot in the head/neck) is all that they deserve. Apparently, in China they execute people immediately for these types of crimes, and make the executed's family pay for the bullett. We should have the same laws in every country in my mind - and I am a primary school teacher myself. The grown up world is bad enough as it is, and all children should be spared it's harsh reality until they're at least 18 and can defend themselves. Children of the world today, face not only these types of crimes, but also malnutrition and starvation and war. Wars where some are even forced to hold a gun, shoot people and have sex with the people that tell them to kill people at the same time. You needn't go further than Northern Uganda in Africa to see this happening. Support Save The Children is all I say - and shoot the bastards doing this shit.

Shan said...

Speaking in relation to our neck of the woods, there are some very serious issues that asian governments and the powers that be have A LOT of work to do stopping these crimes against children.
I know this sounds lame but Oprah has done a few excellent shows highlighting the child sex trade and how globally huge it is.
After watching her shows I felt useless and unable to do anything - it is a scary massive problem that seems to just be getting worse.

Jax said...

I think all the salient points were addressed by amit, einar and shan...so it's time for me to throw in my two cents.

The closest I've come to entering the mind of a pedophile, has been trying to enter the mind of Dr. Lecter, of The Silence of the Lambs, Hannibal, and The Red Dragon fame. I was initially fascinated by what must go through this man's mind, although he is a fictional character, that eanables him to see people in this manner...as objects for the culinray arts! But it's possible, and that was both scary and strangely intriguing for me, if nothing else, because it showed how a human being can 'be' whatever s/he wants to. It's an amazing ability of the human brain to be so totally detached from certain things at certain times.

In this case, that detachment is a sort of moral detachment. I mean come on, German man or not, you can't tell me that a person who's "doing" it doesn't feel it's incorrect in some way, right? It's like 8 Mile, when Nicolas Cage discovers that "Machine" is actually a regular Joe, church-going, fellow. That's truly scary for me... To be looking at the same thing as someone else but not seeing it like they do.

So, it's all down to the people, and what they choose to do with their lives. Maybe the criminal justice system should adopt a shoot-at-sight policy...I mean, it's bad enough that they have laws where the neighborhood needs to be informed in advance if there's a convicted child molester moving in. Dude, just put the poor guy out of his socially-stigmatizing misery and save the rest of the neighborhood the trouble too. Or maybe we need to sit down and drill it into people's heads that they shouldn't do things like this.

But how far can we go to control this? And why? Would eliminating every single 'certified' pedophile ensure the safety of children? What about parents who hack their offspring to death because the kids were "bothering [them] too much"? And it's not just the illegal child sex trade, or the illegal trade in human organs, or mail order brides, or priestly pedopholes, or the like. It's also about skewed sex ratios in several developing nations. It's about people believing that if they can, with or without having to pay for it, they will. Why? Because they can. And that is scariest of all!

So there may not be a 'cure' for it or anything. And sitting around writing about it may not make it go away. If we just live our lives in the way that we know how to and stick to our general sense of right and wrong, based on our experiences as human beings, I think we'll be just fine.

Anonymous said...

good post indeed.

you think a pederast's wiring is stuffed up but do you think the same of homosexuals. It's funny we excused one group's wiring problems but not the others?

care to comment??

Avi said...

Amit, Shan Einar, and Jax - There is not much I could really add to your comments. I think we all pretty much agree on a certain level. Except I think Jax has a more positive conclusion than I do, but reading back I can see that I was in a pretty angry mood when I wrote this. I should adopt a more positive out look as well. As for the rehabilitation, I guess everyone deserves a chance to amends but is just informing your neighbors that you are a pedophile enough? I really don’t know.

As for the last comment. I do not think molesting children and homosexuality are even remotely related. I do not think a homosexuality is wrong in any way so I can not agree that their wiring is stuffed up. Homosexuals are simply attracted to members of the same sex as themselves. It may not be conventional but it is consensual. I see no relation.

Anonymous said...

sorry, i thought in your blog you were going someway to try to explain why such "unconventional" people exist. If you do indeed possess even the basic elements of an explanation for such "criminals" pls let us know. If we look at legal defences to crime the only one that fits is "insanity" (bad wiring?). Doesnt seem right when I think about some of the homosexuals* i know. And I dont know any pederasts, I think!

* a crime in Indonesia

Jax said...

Well, to attempt to address the issue of "unconventionality", which in this case happens to be one's preference for where to put "it", I'd have to say that it's natural. Why whatever do I mean?!?!?

I'm sure you've seen dogs, or perhaps other pets, who during mating season will "go through the motions" when presented with anything from a pillow, to a leg, to another male dog. Why do they do this? Well, it's a natural rhythm or cycle that determines when they will procreate and when they will bear offspring, and the like. So, when it comes time to "do it", and no "suitable" opportunity presents itself, they go for the next best thing. And in this respect, albeit from a purely animalistic perspective, human beings are the same.

The fundamental difference, however, is our ability to rationalize our actions. Whereas the dog may not be able to tell you why there are certain times of the year when he fancies your leg, your average pedophile/pederast can...and it stands to reason that they should be able to. Therefore, pleading insanity is a loophole that's there to be exploited.

This brings into question the whole concept of what a "mindless act" really is. I mean, who's to say what goes on in a person's head when s/he commits these "atrocities". But then, it comes down to how far societies/nations are willing to overlook these things. Should they be overlooked at all? Or is it going to be a constant tussle between the "majority" sense of what's right, and the individual's sense of what s/he is entitled to? I mean, these kinds of things have continued to happen from time immemorial...homosexuality has been around from the times of the Greeks and Romans, and further back. Kings and Sultans have always had harems...remember Johnny Depp's escapades in Don Juan?

So, at the end of all this randomness, I'd have to say that I don't agree with the "bad wiring" argument...but there's no way for me to prove that it's not a valid argument. Who's to say what's valid or not anyway? Maybe we shouldn't excuse anyone's "wiring problems". Or maybe we should attempt to figure out where these problems really begin. I mean, which came first, the sex offender or the sex offence?