I had heard of gout before and it was so nasty sounding. I always thought it was some sort of sexually transmitted disease or something. It turns out its actually called ‘The Gout’ and it is caused by livin large. That’s right. Too much booze and good food can fuck with your kidneys and liver and then you make too much uric acid and some peoples bodies cant deal with that so it builds up in certain joints in the body and crystallizes causing very intense pain. The Gout has been known to drive grown men crazy, like dark side of the moon insane. And it is really strange because the pain can just appear over night and disappear the same way. It must have been a year before I got the gout pains again and it made sense because it was during a crazy wedding when I was going far around the bend again. And I was not taking any chances so as soon as I felt an ache I was off the bottle and on the pills. Since then I have not had much issue with The Gout really.
Having The Gout really sucks though. It is not something I always have but when as soon as I feel the slightest pain in my big toe I avoid all the things that might trigger an attack. And you would not belive how long that list is. Booze is the first thing to go, then cold cuts, beef, pork, sweets, all breads, tomatoes, and so much more. It is fucking ridiculous. I get scared to eat anything and resort to eating plain rice. I am lucky though cause I have only had The Gout about 4 or 5 times and the last few were not too severe. Some people have it all the time. And people have been suffering from it for hundreds of years. And back when there was no cure or knowledge of prevention it was worse than the fucking plague. The Gout meant dying a slow painful death. It had been so long since my last attack that I even forgot I had it.
Two days ago I woke up in the morning and as I stepped off my bed I felt it. Immediately I was regretting the 2 bottles of JD I polished last weekend. And this time it was bad. Plus my other ankle is still fucked up from when I stepped in the hole. I am just waiting to get back to Indo so I can sort that out and now this. Yesterday was fucking horrible. I tried to pick up some herbal shit but its hard to communicate what is going on to the local pharmacist and going to a hospital is out of the question for me. So that brings me to where I am right now, totally strung out on painkillers, again. I have been super clean for so long but I had to give in last night and I popped a handful of tramadol. Dude, my foot is killing me right now, but I am one happy camper. And I am so pleasant to be around at work. Even my colleagues are wondering why I am so laid back and happy today. I forgot how much fun pharmacuticals can be. So I am off the bottle for another week till I get to Brazil. That's right. I am going to Brazil for 20 days next week baby!!! Taking off to Indo this Sunday and the 1 month vacation begins. Alooooooooooohaaaa.