Exhale

I have posted this image by John Pitre before. It pretty much sums up how I have been feeling recently. Abstinence fucking sucks and although I have not been able to completely stop intoxicating myself, I have cut down dramatically. This painting is called ‘Temptations of a False God”. The use of light is amazing. Check out the people trapped in capsules, chilling on pills, taking bites from chinks of them. Others are sitting on piles of white powder with their faces hungrily buried in handfuls of it. On the fringes, men smoke pipes filled with opium and marijuana. A solitary couple stares toward the warm glow in the distance.

Apart from hungry, I have also been fucking irritated. Everything is pissing me off. I can be having a conversation with a person and suddenly I want to snap their fucking neck. I want to kill or be killed. I am bored and overwhelmed at the same time. This does not have anything to do with the fact that I am not drinking but rather just frustration. People around me are either too stupid or too damn smart. I fear the latter. One of us is going insane and it best not be me. Just a phase, it will pass. I got to desensitize. Time for a new tattoo. Have a good weekend.

Back in those days everything was simpler and more confused
One summer night, going to the pier I ran into two young girls
The blonde one was called Freedom
The dark one, Enterprise
We talked and they told me this story
Now listen to this...

I'll tell you about Texas radio and the big beat
Soft driven, slow and mad
Like some new language
Reaching your head with the cold, sudden fury of a divine messenger

Let me tell you about heartache and the loss of god

Wandering, wandering in hopless night

Out here in the perimeter there are no stars

Out here we is stoned

Immaculate.
~ Jim