Friday, June 08, 2007

Reflections Over Cheese Toast

Last night I went home from work pretty chipper. I am all stoked about my new tattoo and although I am pretty nervous about the pain, I can't wait to get started. I constantly have that butterflies in the stomach feeling you get right before skydiving or bungee jumping. I stopped off at the 7-11 to pick up something to drink and something to eat for dinner. Lately I have not been in the mood to cook elaborate meals so I stick to pretty basic stuff like glorified noodles, or things I can grill in my awesome little toaster. Especially over the last three days my dinner has been fabricated around my drinks. Last night I licked up some Campbell's Corn Flavored with Chicken Soup, a small loaf of whole wheat bread (getting healthy), a couple of cans of soda water, a bottle of OJ, and a bottle of Smirnoff Vodka. The previous 2 days had been Jack and then Scotch so I needed a change. Uncle Mitu schooled me on a great vodka drink. Fill the glass with ice, then half way up with vodka, pour in just a splash of juice, and then top it off with soda. I find the orange flavor in screwdrivers a bit over powering so this mix sits just right with me.

By the time I polished off 3 drinks I was not much in the mood for soup anymore. I decided to make a glorified cheese toast, but I din not have onions or tomatoes at home. So instead I loaded up 2 slices of bread with some Kraft cheddar cheese and a couple of slices of some Brie I had left over from a while ago. It was still good. I topped that off with some dollops of garlic butter, oregano, and red chili powder. I gave the son of a bitch a good 30 minutes of low heat in the bad boy toaster and then fired it up to high heat at the end for another 5 minutes.

By the time I pulled the fuckers out I almost burned my hands. A couple of days ago I had been watching Top Chef on TV and I guess the booze in my brain left me feeling a bit creative. I decided to ‘plate’ my dinner. Only I realized that I did not have much to plate it with. I also learned quickly that making designs on a plate with tomato sauce is not as easy as it looks. So where I had set out too make a cool floral pattern out of ketchup and mustard, I instead ended up with a few drops of ketchup and a whole lot of wasted kitchen towels. Not much of a design, but it was fun and I used some red chili peppers too. When I finally sat down to devour my creation I recognized quickly that my design had all form and no function! There was not nearly enough ketchup on the plate.

I spent an interesting evening with myself yesterday just listening to music, no TV, no books, and lots of vodka. Getting a tattoo for me is sort of a spiritual experience you could say, especially this piece I am going for now. There are many elements in it that have forced me to reflect upon myself, something I have not really given myself the time to do recently. It was when the track ‘Awake’ came on from Morrison’s ‘American Poet’ that I began to realize how far away from my self I am right now. Work has taken such a prominent role in my life at the moment that I find so many of my dreams are being tucked away in the drawers of my mind, one by one. It is as if I am being completely infused with reality. But that is just a part of growing up I guess, where you can put childhood dreams aside but every once in a while take them out, play with them, and then put them away again. Last night was a chance to play with my dreams, toy with ideas I had not given myself the time to do recently. I do take loads of holidays and I do have time to unwind but it is not everyday that you find your way back into a part of your mind or soul where you have not been in a long time. A place where you are reminded of WHOM you are and WHAT you came here to do. Walking to work today all the people in front of me happened to be walking in the same direction. We were like a river of people flowing down the sidewalk. Normally I would want to run the other way and break apart from the machine, but today I was at ease. This is part of the journey man. All I have now is time. It is ironic how short bursts of chaotic self destruction can unfold into moments of absolute clarity. Oh, and then there was the whole episode after my reflections where a large moth got into my house and chased me around. I shot you not, that fucker was all over my case. I told him he could sit anywhere but he kept trying to chill on my head. We finally made peace too and he perched on the plant in the corner. It was a pretty long ordeal because he just kept toying with me for over an hour. And he had a way of just disappearing as well. Freaky. I hope the cleaning lady does not kill him while I am at work.

Shake dreams from your hair
My pretty child, my sweet one.
Choose the day and choose the sign of your day
The days divinity
First thing you see.

A vast radiant beach in a cool jeweled moon
Couples naked race down by its quiet side
And we laugh like soft, mad children
Smug in the wooly cotton brains of infancy
The music and voices are all around us.

Choose they croon the ancient ones
The time has come again
Choose now, they croon
Beneath the moon
Beside an ancient lake
Enter again the sweet forest
Enter the hot dream
Come with us
Everything is broken up and dances.


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