CHAI GOLD – Elaichi Sweetened Instant Tea Pre-Mix

My mom just came in from India and brought me some real Indian Tea instant mix that contains ELAICHI which is an authentic Indian flavoring. I call it foto but I don't know what the English name for it is. I have been living on Lipton Milk Tea here but being a true to the bone Yindian Bway, I am always eager for some home grown Chai, not the shit that is fashionable to drink at Starfucks these days. Unfortunately I can't really run around the corner for a good cup of super sweet Chai so I am content to settle for the instant stuff.

As you can see, the ingredients are quite simple, and so are the nutritional facts. I have never really paid much to the nutritional information on any product packaging and that is probably because it is in such small print and hiding between other really small words and uninteresting pictures. I guess CHAI GOLD has little or nothing to hide. The directions for making the tea are also clearly printed on the back of the box, in the universally understood language called pictures. As for me, I like pictures. They say a lot, use a cup, add hot water, and stir. Aint life simple?

CHAI GOLD also has 3 other varieties which are Masala Tea, Plain Tea, and Coffee. All are sweetened and include milk. The packaged date and expiry date are also clearly printed on this side of the box. If you look closely you will see that my package of ELAICHI CHAI has already expired on May of 2007. But this is not going to stop me from drinking this stash over the next month. Plus if I tell my Mom she will just feel really bad that she bought me something I cant use.

CHAI GOLD is marketed on manufactured by GEEBEES PVT LTD. This is not really a great name for a beverage company. First of all I think it's a bad play on the name Bee Gees which as we all know is a really popular disco band from the 70's. Maybe the Chairman is a fan. Secondly aren’t the GEEBEES something creepy? In either case it is comforting to know that they have places a safety seal on the product so I know the guy who gave me the 'heebee geebees' has not meddled with it. I don't know why, that word makes me think of Jay Leno. He gives me the 'heebee geebees' for some reason. It could be that huge jaw of his. But knowing the Indians, GEEBEES probably stands for the founders name, Gurbaksh Bhagwandas.

The powder comes in a securely sealed sachet. In fact the sachet is so securely sealed that I could not tear through the perforated edges. I actually had to reach for a scissor. Once again the manufacturer has taken the opportunity to advise the consumer of the expiration date which is clearly printed on the sachet. I am reminded that I am drinking an expired beverage but as most of my friends know, I like to live on the edge dude. Drinking expired beverages is as thrilling as sky diving. I mean I could be poisoned and start to hallucinate or something. Now that would be like a double score, a great cup of tea and a day trip.

The sachet actually contains a pretty generous amount of powder mix in it. I would say it bulled up at least 1cm of my cup that is 2 ½ inches across the base. None the less I only added half a cup of steaming hot water because there is nothing worse than watery tea. I would rather have it strong than weak.

Once the mix is stirred vigorously, and I mean vi-gor-ous-ly, it is ready to drink. I must admit that the ELAICHI Chai kicks the shit out of Lipton Milk tea any day of the week. I have 2 boxes of this and 2 boxes of the MASALA mix. I am only keeping one box out in the open for the rest of the office staff to devour. The other 3 boxes will sit in my drawer, eagerly awaiting their consumption. I hate not sharing but the chicks in my office just will not appreciate this shit and will go through it all in like 2 days. Then probably sue my ass when they get sick from drinking expired Indian tea. Cheers.