Friday, September 14, 2007

Random Shit

I was watching TV last night and I happened to catch the last half hour of the latest show to premier on Star World, ‘Who Wants to be a Super Hero’. I had seen the promotional ads come on a few times before and they were boasting that the show was going to be hosted by Stan Lee, the well known author of Spiderman. The show would feature a group of people who come in dressed and acting like their own unique superhero. And as with most other reality shows each week one contestant would be sent home based on their performances in relevant challenges. The winner and last man or woman left standing would serve as the model for the next Stan Lee comic creation, in their unique superhero get up of course. You might already be realizing how stupid a concept this is for a TV show but trust me, you cannot begin to understand how disturbing this show is until you actually watch some of it. ‘Who Wants to be a Superhero’ is officially the stupidest, most absurd, outrageous, unbelievable, and preposterous show I have ever seen in my 30 years of life. What the fuck are people who fund these shows thinking?! I love comic books and I love graphic novels as well. And anyone who visits this blog regularly knows that. But watching ‘Who Wants to be a Superhero’ actually made me feel embarrassed about being a human being. There is no joy in seeing a group of grown-ups well into their 20’s and 30’s getting dressed up in costumes and pretending to be superheroes. I cannot even explain to you how agonizing it was for me to watch these people taking this idea so seriously. It is not even sad in a funny sort of way, I actually wanted to rip the fucking teeth out of my gums when I saw this overweight girl squeezed into a gold leotard and making ‘tsheeeewww’ sounds as she pretended to shoot fire balls out of her hands.

Have you ever wondered what the most useful or practical invention in the world is? Well it cant be fire because that was discovered, not invented. The next most logical thing to consider would be the wheel. Not only is it so practical on its own but it opened the doors for hundreds of other inventions by serving a multifaceted platform for things such as watches, to cars, windmills, and even pottery. There are just so many things you could come up with as being amazing inventions and for some of them we are even taught from a very young age that the inventors were. Like Edison for the light bulb, Bell for the telephone, and Franklin for electricity. But how come no one talks about the toilet. I cant imagine what life would be like without a toilet. Everyone shits but treats the fact that they do like their dirty little secret. Whether you are a pauper or a king, a supermodel or a truck driver, an astronaut or a grave digger, YOU SHIT. As humans we have very few things in common, like we all eat, drink, sleep, shit and die. The whole concept of restaurants and bars is based on the fact that we enjoy eating and drinking in groups. King size beds are made so people can comfortably sleep together. We even have cemeteries taking up expensive land so we can be buried and rest in death with the people we love. Yet taking a shit, an act which we all have in common is still for most people the most solitary time in their day. Back in ancient Rome at the coliseum they actually found that the commodes were lined up next to each other like a bench. With no walls either. So people would just sit down to take a crap while talking about the latest massacre with their mates. Maybe they even compared their refuse as they got up to walk away. Hey dude, look at the size of the sucker I just pushed out! Toilet design is not even talked about much but the industry is making giant leaps with the development of toilets that will wash, wipe, and even dry your ass for you. All so you can dissociate yourself from the fact that you produce waste. On the environmental front we can all afford to consider how much water is wasted on indoor plumbing. Toilets all over the world are literally flushing water away. I recently read about development of dry toilets recently. Look Here to find out more about the contraption you probably take most for granted.

Is this an awesome picture or what? This kid is straight up looking at the chicks tits and thinking about how he can get his face up in there. He has got an wikid smile on his face as well. It is not an ear to ear grin, or some cheesy face he is making at the camera. That right there is momentary suspended bliss. We men are such simple creatures.

And am I tripping here or is Donald Duck exposing Christina Aguilera’s titty? Fuzzy Duck, Ducky Fuzz, Duzzy Fuck, Fucky Duzz. I am awkwardly arroused. Have a great weekend.

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